Rp log Shishido/Ohtori

[zapped-again.livejournal.com]

Rating: PGish
Dated: Tonight
Summary: The time has come to talk of many things, of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings. Or Ohtori and Shishido finally starting to make up and talk about their fight, Oshitari may have been right after all.


He hadn’t lied. Sleeping straight through the night and all of the next day was not the same thing as hiding. He just needed to finish thinking a few things over, and listening to Oshitari’s words repeating in his mind. He was still groggy when he finally pulled the battery run alarm clock to his bedding and hit the light display on it to realize it was late evening and Shishido-san would be waking soon. So he would either have to run an intercept and catch the other leaving his room, or stay put and be tracked down himself. Wincing as his stomach growled, he scratched the top of his head, ignoring the obvious spikes of hair caused by sleeping too much, and not restfully enough.

He pulled his long legs out of the blankets and sighed. His fire was out again. The floors were icy cold, and that was through the socks he had a habit of sleeping in. It was already starting to look like a bad day, bound to get worse. Grabbing his oversized blue hoodie, he tugged it on, and then pulled on his jeans awkwardly bouncing from one foot to the other as he finished dressing. With a quick glance at the mirror, he shoved the still magnetized paperclips off of the door knob and shook his head. He had to find Shishido-san’s room now, then worry about stopping the static issues.

Finally reaching the door, he frowned and paused. Big brown eyes stopping on the door knob. Now what? Storm in and demand they talk, knock and wait risking waking the other teen, or just sit near the door and wait for Shishido-san to come out?

Thus, he sat.

Shishido had actually woken up early, probably because his back, which couldn't comfortably be covered by either his blanket or wings, was exposed to the cold air and was causing him to shiver. "Stupid wings" He muttered to himself before sliding out of his nest of blankets on the bed and onto the cool floor. He started stripping out of his clothes intent on having a nice hot shower to warm and wake him up before hunting down Ohtori. Grabbing his towel he started padding across the room when he thought he heard something. Pausing, his wings ruffling behind him, he listened. Yup. That was definitely a sound coming from outside his door.

With a shrug to himself, Shishido wrapped the towel snugly around his waist and opened the door to peer out into the hall. "O-Ohtori?" He questioned seeing the other mutant just waiting out side his door as if he was debating whether to set up camp or not. "What the hell are you doing out here." And why, Shishido asked himself, did he not wait until he was dressed and warm before opening the door to investigate.

Looking up as the door opened, he blinked once, twice, and then realized the other was at the very least not wearing a shirt. That was not a good start…Taking a deep breath, he began to think this was a bad idea, they were fighting and here he was studying the floor right next to Shishido’s door. “You said to …come find you when I was ready to talk. Or you’d find me, so..I’m here.” Yeah, this wasn’t going well at all. Reaching his hand up to scratch at the back of his neck, he tried to relax a little more and just say what was on his mind.

”Did you…want to get dressed first or something? I can wait, or go to my room and start a fire. We can talk there, it’ll be warmer that way.” Yeah, and put things off just a little longer so he could try and put the words together without upsetting the other any more. But he just needed answers, some sort of closure. Anything.

Ok, screw the shower. He did want to talk to Ohtori, and if the other was here and for who knows how long, it would be rude to keep him waiting. Shishido considered letting the other go to start a fire in his room, but that would just delay this, and now that he was thinking about it again, he really didn't want to put it off or give the other a chance to back down. "No, here's good. Come on in. I'll just grab some clothes." He left the door open as he moved back into the room, his wings flapping behind him as he moved to his closet to find some warm track pants and to see if he had any long sleeved shirts that had been altered and were clean.

Satisfied, Shishido stuck his head back out of the closet and looked at Ohtori. "Just get comfy on the couch, I have blankets on the bed," He pointed to the pile of them on his bed and made a face at the mess… whoops, that's not really a good impression, oh well, "I'll just uh… go change." He snuck into the washroom and almost sighed when he saw how bad his hair was. Damn it, today was not shaping up well.

“If you are sure…” His words sounded a little hollow coming from his lips, he was not just noticing the way the towel swayed with Shishido’s hips as he walked away. He blushed sharply and made a point to look at the couch instead. Yup, dry mouth. Sticking his tongue out for a moment, he tried to get it at least normal feeling again. They had to talk and somehow he didn’t think speaking like he had a broken tongue was going to fly. “Uhm-…” He was going to say something, but forgot. Hopefully clothing would help matters. It couldn’t all just be his nerves making him act like a complete spazz.

Sitting on the couch as directed, he blinked at the bedding nest and smiled. His looked about the same, save one of his pillows was clear across the room and hiding behind his door. “Take your time…” Really. The silver haired mutant started playing with the two pull strings on his hood, pulling them back and forth like a teeter totter, he just had to stay distracted for a little while.

Shishido probably would have been more embarrassed about what had just happened in his room, but his mind was still trying to properly wake up and catch up to the situation. Currently it was stuck on trying to figure out the best way to get the knots out of his hair with the least amount of pain. In the end he left his hair half brushed, and threw on his track pants and shirt before padding back out into the main room where he went to automatically grab his orange blanket before turning back to the couch. "Do you want a blanket?" He asked, tugging a second one free from the pile before walking over to the couch and tossing it on Ohtori. "It gets cold in here, I don't want to be blamed for you getting sick." He said sitting at the other end of the couch and bundling in his blanket the best he could. Damn he wanted that shower.

When Shishido returned, Ohtori glanced up and dropped his pull strings again with a small cock of his head. Okay, yes, a dressed Shishido would be much easier to talk to. And they hadn’t started off by yelling. He was surprised yet again by the offer of a blanket, definitely something he could use right now, even under the jacket, he was feeling tiny tendrils of cold air under his clothing. “That’d be-“ He was hit with the blanket, which he quickly huddled under. “Thank you…” He smiled faintly, “getting sick is a bad idea, I might cause power outages.” He chuckled, recalling his last cold. “So- look, I just wanted to start by saying- well. I still like you a lot. I just need to know- you still like me, right?” Okay, not as direct as ‘jumping’ Shishido-san. But he at least started.

"What?" Shishido asked, his wings twitching behind him as he tried not to blush. Where did that come from and didn't he already tell Ohtori once, or twice how he felt. Alright, so one time it was a bit unsure and the other he was yelling at him and really wasn't liking him much at the time, but damn, did he still feel that way. He looked up at Ohtori, and pushed some hair back out of his face thinking. Well yeah, Ohtori was still cute and he was still a nice guy. It was just, he couldn't forget the pain he had been forced to feel when Ohtori had run off without a word. It was worse than the time he was zapped by him.

"Umm well I…" This was a lot harder to get out when his emotions weren't overwhelming his thoughts. His wings ruffled behind him and he tried to think of how to put into words what he felt. "Of course I still like you." Shishido finally said and for once he felt like he hadn't even screwed that up, "I wouldn't want to be friends with someone I didn't." Ok, why couldn't his mouth just stay closed. His wings flapped some more behind him, creating an unwanted breeze and forcing him to bundle further in the orange blanket.

Just like Oshitari-san had said, his wings were twitching and ruffling. He hit a sensitive spot, good. Licking his lips, he curled a little tighter under the blankets and forced a smile, “that wasn’t quite what I had meant, Shishido-san. I don’t want to just be friends, at all.” He prepared to be told to leave immediately. Tensing slightly beneath the blankets. “There is no Kaidoh-kun between us,” he swallowed back the slight chest pains before continuing. “I know I didn’t love him, but I think I love you…”

Now would be a good time to run, he hadn’t meant to say it quite like that either…damnit. “Look, sorry. Maybe this was a bad idea after all.” He frowned, “I didn’t mean to hurt you, and I know I did. But this whole distance thing…it’s killing me. I just want to know where I stand.”

Shishido stared at Ohtori as his brain tried to slowly process the words. He had to have heard wrong. He blinked once, twice, and realized that no. He couldn't have heard wrong, not with the way Ohtori was going on, and not with that look in his eyes. Shishido could feel himself turning red, and his wings were ruffling again. Damn it, why did everything have to be so hard. "You l-love me?" He asked again, bringing a hand up to rub his head, damn, why couldn't his brain wake up.

Trying to process the words in his mind again and doing a surprisingly good job at not over reacting to a guy, to Ohtori, confessing his love to him, Shishido looked up at Ohtori. And his heart clenched. "I'm… hurting you?" He questioned almost shyly, his eyes soft behind the confusion. He was the one that was supposed to be hurt and in pain, not Ohtori and if he had done something stupid, which wouldn't be that out of character for him, and had actually hurt the other, he'd feel like a big ass. Well, bigger than he normally did when he managed to put his foot in his mouth.

Okay, that had not gone well at all. He firmed his resolve and bit harder onto his lower lip and nodded. “Yes- when I was…doing things with Kaidoh, sometimes…you just kept coming to mind…and I- just oh God this is not going right!” He buried his head in his hands and shook his head. Now he’d blown it, he’d probably completely ruined all of the work at just trying to be friends.

He was not going to look up, not now. He knew he was going to cry if he saw another hurt look in Shishido’s eyes. But he just couldn’t get up and leave, he really wanted to just run away, not that he had any place left to go…”Yeah- but I deserve it…”

"You thought of me? When you were," Shishido gestured, not quite bringing himself to even attempt to vocalize what Ohtori might have been doing, "with Kaidoh? But…" He didn't get it. If he had always been in Ohtori's mind, why didn't the other leave Kaidoh sooner, and why did he run away and not come to him. Was he to blame or was it Ohtori's fault?

Shishido didn't know whose fault this whole mess was anymore, a lot of stupid things had happened, and yes, he was still mad at Ohtori, and he wasn't sure if he could trust the other mutant yet, but he'd be a big jerk if he just let the other sit there like that on his couch. "Hey, Ohtori." He said softly, shifting from his spot on the couch, wings twitching behind him as he moved towards Ohtori. "I'm not saying you don't take blame in some of this, but nobody deserves to be hurt by my stupidity. Got that? One of us feeling like crap is more than enough." He explained wrapping his arms carefully around the electrical mutant so that Ohtori was covered now by two thick blankets and himself in a nice strong hug.

Nodding his head slightly, he made an odd sound as his lips were still pressed to his palms as he avoided the other’s face. It sounded horrible, even worse coming from the older teen. He really had to try and apologize to Kaidoh-kun someday…when he was feeling braver and certain he wouldn’t just break down.

He stopped breathing when his name was said softly, daring a quick peek at the other through long fingers, his brown eyes already wet and shining. He was not crying, damnit. He wanted to be sick all over the couch, but decided that would not be the proper response to any of the possible reasons Shishido-san was moving toward him. He gasped when all of that fear and pressure was dropped in the firm embrace the other gave, soon he dropped his hands and let them drop to his side while he rested his forehead on the other’s shoulder. “Neither of us should feel bad…ever.”
Shishido chuckled at the words softly spoken into his shoulder, least of all because it tickled. "I agree. But we do, because we're both idiots." He said continuing to just hold the other close. It didn't matter that he was still angry at Ohtori, he liked the guy a lot too, even if he had trouble saying it. And he was going to do what he could to make him feel better, because that's what people did. "Ohtori, I didn't mean to hurt you. I was angry and hurting and I sort of still am but…" he looked away blushing and had to force himself to say the rest, "and I'm not really good with emotions and thinking and I just sometimes lash out and really just ask around if you don't believe me. Hell Oshitari can tell you how I leap before I look." He rambled, wings twitching behind him. He should really just shut up while he's ahead.

He was not going to mention knowing that because of Oshitari and his lack of interest in being hit again. “We are…Sorry.” He dared to finally lift a hand to rest it on the other’s arm and try to just let this moment last as long as he could. He hadn’t wanted them to hold each other all over a fight, but at least he knew now with certainly this was a goal worth fighting for. “I didn’t wanna hurt you either, I panicked and was being stupid.” They could work on the emotions thing…”Can we just stop fighting about stupid things?”

Normally Shishido would have bat Ohtori upside the head for apologizing but that would have meant he had to pull one of his arms back. Also, he sort of felt that maybe for once, that sorry needed to be said. Instead, he just snuggled against the blanketed mass that was Ohtori and tried to get his ruffling wings to fold down behind him. It was a bit chilly since his blanket was under him and not around him, but it was more than tolerable for now. He had needed this, to be able to hold Ohtori without and borders between them, and sure they still weren't healed or perfect but maybe he had been asking too much of Ohtori and maybe it was time for him to start rebuilding the bridge from his side too.

"I think we can stop fighting now." Shishido said softly, everything he had to say had already been said, they had to stop hurting each other. "But I'm not promising you it will all go back to normal. We've changed, and we aren't perfect and what we have between us is rough and shaky and hell if it doesn't need repairs too, but I guess what I'm saying is that we can stop putting more holes into it. Alright, …Ohtori?" He had almost said Choutarou there, but at the last moment of hesitation it had changed to his surname. He wasn't ready for that type of closeness yet.

He was warm and happy for the moment, the best feeling he had been in months. He could smell Shishido in the blankets, and feel his warmth on his cheek as he continued to rest his head on the other’s shoulder, just enjoying this closeness that had been taken away for far too long. He peeked over the other and saw his wings ruffling, maybe he should let him go and relax.

”I’d like that very much,” he agreed, shifting to wrap his arms around the other’s neck gently and covertly wiped his eyes on his shoulder to hide any tears that may have escaped at all during the emotional turmoil. “I understand that, and I’m more than grateful for even this much. Thank you Shishido-san…it means a lot.” He slowly removed his arms and started to back out of the hug, just in case that was what still had the winged teen ruffled.

"Hey don't thank me yet, I haven't even done anything." Shishido said teasingly, it felt nice to tease Ohtori after so long. He felt the other pull his arms away and he wondered if Ohtori didn't want to hug him anymore. But it wasn't like there was Kaidoh anymore, and didn't Ohtori say that he thought he loved him? Shishido didn't understand why Ohtori would be pulling away and instead wrapped his arms around the bundled mass tighter, shifting more on him to keep him in place. He did his best to ignore the way his wings twitched from what was probably embarrassment and a bit of discomfort from being half pushed up against the back of the couch. "Done loving me already?" Shishido asked into the blanket so that it was half muffled. He may not be ready to have things move forward, but it didn't mean Shishido didn't like the idea of maybe being just a little bit cherished.

Blushing faintly at the teasing tone, he smiled and wanted to thank him more, it was almost like old times. The teasing, as embarrassing as it was a step back to where they were before. He could feel those arms wrapping around him more, and leaned into it with a small smile, managing to free his arms again and wrapping them back around Shishido-san’s shoulders, he leaned his head forward to rest against his. He could barely make out the words, but seemed to know what he had said all the same. “No, not even close.”

Shishido felt his insides warm up a bit at the comment, but the goose bumps covering his back and the slight shivering he was feeling now was definitely not from any conversation. He blamed this on the fact that he hadn't had a chance to have his nice hot shower yet. And he really hadn't woken up enough yet to produce proper body heat or something, though his face was still doing a marvellous job of staying bright red and warm. Maybe another minute or two, and then he'd let go, ask Ohtori if he wanted to stay or leave and then go take his shower. He squished closer to Ohtori and tried in vain to steal away some of the heat from the other that was buried under layers of blanket.

Feeling the other’s shivering, he opened his eyes again and blinked at the older teen. “You’re cold….Do you want your blankets?” He rubbed his hands lightly over Shishido’s arms trying to warm him just a bit. He was enjoying the closeness, but it would be selfish to keep things that way he had to consider his friend’s wellbeing.

Shishido was quite content to freeze and be rubbed down while holding Ohtori when his mind suddenly seemed to finally wake up. His eyes widened and his wings ruffled as he realized just how they were laying and his mind supplied some interesting ideas that his body happily cheered on. "Uh… no. Maybe a hot shower… You interrupted me before, normally warms me up." Shishido said slowly extracting himself from the comfortable embrace the two were sharing.

Blushing at the mentions of the hot shower, he looked quickly at the orange blanket and smiled shyly. “Sorry about that. Should I let you…uhm-“ Shishido was already getting up, so he should probably leave the other to his evening. “Should I leave?” He straightened his sleeves and squirmed out of the blanket cocoon, trying to conceal his blush and biting his lower lip. “Uh- I can light my fireplace and you can come by, it’s at least a little warmer.”

Shishido straightened from the couch, quickly noting that yes, baggy thick track pants did conceal the state of arousal those dirty thoughts had driven him too. "You can stay if you want, but I'm gonna go shower." He said about to start stripping off his shirt before stopping to wonder if that might seem a bit odd now that he knew how Ohtori felt, and then he figured it would be more odd if he stopped now. "But if you leave, I'll keep your place in mind. Might end up Saeki's though, we normally have lunch dates." He stripped off his shirt and tossed it in the direction of his closet, only shivering a bit more when the cool air hit his chest. "Up to you." He said shifting from foot to foot slightly, his wings twitching behind him as he tried to decide if he should just go shower or wait to see what Ohtori would do.

That was quite the dilemma, he knew he might be tempted to push matters if he stayed around, but leaving might be taken wrong. Finally lifting his gaze to meet Shishido’s, he smiled. “I should go for now, but I will keep a spot right by the fireplace for you. In case you want it.” He rose carefully and started to quickly fold the blankets neatly, not wanting to leave anything of a mess, that and distract himself from the way Shishido’s chest moved every time he breathed, and the memories of that towel clad walk across the room. Scolding himself mentally, he tried to keep his eyes on his clumsily shaking hands. “You should have some privacy for your shower…so, I’ll let you be.”

"Alright, but don't be offended if I don't come. I already had plans." Plans to talk to Saeki about this because he really needed someone to talk to that would tell him when he was being an idiot and when he wasn't. He felt that this time, Saeki might not actually have to physically beat some sense into him. He looked over at Ohtori with a soft smile that turned into a laugh as he saw the other folding his blankets. "Don't worry about that Ohtori, I'd hate for them to feel out of place with rest of the room." He teased gesturing to the other less than perfectly clean areas of his room.

As another shiver ran down Shishido's spine causing his wings to flap he decided that Ohtori could see himself out and that he needed hot water now. "Just let yourself out, I trust you not to nick anything." He said hesitating for one more moment before turning to the bathroom, starting to peel his pants off just as he reached the door and then closing it.

“I won’t be, I understand that completely.” He smiled and placed the blankets back onto the couch, with a small blush. It was just his own nervous behavior. “It’s no problem, but if you are sure…”

He watched the flapping wings and cocked his head, “I will…goodnight Shishido-san.” He turned and started for the door, making the mistake of glancing back to say goodbye, catching the other begin removing his pants, making a small squeaking sound, he turned and hurried out of the room, on a mission to hide under his blankets anyway.