Log - Fuji and Shishido

[feathered-fiend.livejournal.com]

Date: Today, late morning early afternoon
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Shishido wakes up in the medlab slightly disoriented and Fuji is there to support him while he adjusts to life as a human.



Shishido's body felt heavy and his eyelids felt like iron blocks over his eyes. But he was awake, and listening to the sound of people shuffle around and gossip wasn't going to let him go back to sleep anyway. Besides, felt as if he'd been sleeping for way too long since his throat was completely dry. He really wished someone would bring him water, but if they didn't know he was awake they wouldn't think to which led him back to having to open his eyes. Actually, why were there people shuffling around and gossiping in his bedroom in the first place?

That thought got his eyes open in a hurry, his heart racing as he tried to focus in on the room. "Wh-what the..." He questioned in a scratchy voice that trailed off. His eyes were acting wonky but he could swear that this was the infirmary at Ryuhana. He went to move to sit up and find out what was going on but his body didn't seem to be responding properly and eventually gave up and slumped back against the pillows cursing quietly to himself.

"Shh," Fuji murmured, and guided Shishido back to lie down on the bed. "Don't move." He suspected the command wouldn't be a difficult one to follow, after what had happened just days ago -- Shishido hadn't moved at all since the mission, when he'd been struck with not just one but two darts laced with full doses of the mutant cure drug. Fuji had brought him back to Ryuhana's medlab himself, as best as he could unassisted, and terribly glad for his own ability to teleport.

But the days hadn't been kind to Shishido, predictably: he was visibly tired and hadn't eaten, but more obviously than that, he'd lost the elegant white wings that defined his mutation. Fuji could only imagine that the rest of his mutation had followed suit -- if a lack of enhanced senses were anything like what had happened to Rin, Shishido must have been feeling both blind and deaf. Moreover, his healing factor couldn't compensate to metabolize the cure any faster than the six months the Ryuhana doctors predicted. Fuji brushed a gentle hand against Shishido's brow. "How are you feeling?"

"Shuu-ke?" Shishido questioned, his voice cracking the middle. He hated sounding so weak and pathetic. Though wisely he didn't try to show off how manly and strong he could be and instead listened to his friends words to not move. What happened to him? He felt like he'd been run over by a truck and why did he feel so odd? "Fell like... hell." He admitted looking over to eye the water beside his bed as he racked his brain for an answer. They went on a mission and they ran into trouble... "You and Kirihara good?" He couldn't remember them getting out or what happened next.

Trying to piece the puzzle together he felt a tingle on his back and went to shift his wings when he noticed something. Slowly his eyes widened as he tried again and again to make them respond but couldn't feel or see them. "Oh god." He gasped, panic rising in him. "My... My..." He couldn't bring himself to say it, instead he reached a heavy hand to his side to see if he could feel his wings at all but felt only air. He couldn't breathe. His wings weren't there. His wings! Two of his limbs were missing! Panic stricken eyes sought out Fuji and tried to focus on his face, desperately seeking answers and hoping that he was wrong.

"Calm down," Fuji said, unsure of how calm Shishido might actually be capable of being. He wasn't even sure if he could calm himself, if necessary.... "You were hit with the cure on the mission," Fuji explained, his voice low and even. He hated saying it -- saying it meant it was true, never mind Shishido's distinct lack of wings. If he didn't say it, it could still be a dream. A bad dream. He left out the fact that it was two doses. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, then.... "The doctors say they'll be back," he continued, offering an uneasy smile.

Shishido wanted to curse and yell at that news, he wanted to believe it wasn't true and fight against the truth as if would change things. But his body was too exhausted to do any of those things and instead he just slumped back down, his hand falling to the mattress in defeat. "Fuck." He muttered. He was probably in shock, he figured he had to be, it was a natural reaction to finding out that two of his limbs had just fallen off. He needed time to absorb... he supposed three months would be long enough. Just in time to have wings painfully grow back. Oh hell what he wouldn't do to be suffering that pain right now so he could have his wings back now. Three months of no flying, of feeling like half a person... not to mention all his other powers missing, so many things he had come to just take for granted. Enhanced vision, speeded recovery times, hollow bones.

He stared down at his arm and raised it up slightly off the bed. Were normal bones supposed to weigh that much? Well he'd just have to look at three months in a weighted body as training for his triumphant return. If he didn't go crazy before then. Looking back over at Fuji who was still sitting beside him, Shishido wondered why he was blurrier than he was a moment ago and then realized that there was moisture on his face. Shit, was he crying. That was so uncool. It was only three months, and sure his body was all fucked up now and he was missing two loved limbs but he could still hear and see, in theory, and wasn't deformed or anything. Still, it was hard to look at the bright side. "Water." He croaked out, hoping that Fuji would tactfully fiddle with the water long enough for him to figure out how to coordinate his new body enough to wipe the tears from his eyes.

"Of course," Fuji said. He could get water. "I'll be back in a moment." He kept himself from dropping a comforting kiss on Shishido's forehead -- it's what he would have done for his own Ryou -- and instead stood otherwise wordlessly to find water. He thought he'd seen Shishido's eyes watering before he left, and didn't bother dismissing it; he knew that he would likely cry himself if he'd been hit with the cure, and his powers weren't nearly as integral to his own being as Shishido's were.

Ryuhana's medlab wasn't nearly as extensive as Tomihana's, and Fuji knew that he could easily get something as simple as a bottle of water on premises, but Shishido had looked like he wanted time, so that was what Fuji would give him. He left the medlab entirely and walked, not teleported, the short walk to his own apartment to put together a makeshift care package: several bottles of water, some grapes, and some music and magazines that he was sure Shishido would like. They'd have to allow that sort of thing in medlab, right? Fuji hoped enough time had passed for Shishido to re-orient himself and wake up properly, but an incoherent friend was still better than an unconscious one. A soft knock informed of his return before he re-entered the private room that Shishido had occupied for the better part of the weekend. "Good morning," he greeted. "I brought you some things."

While Fuji was away, Shishido managed to wipe away his tears and sort himself out. It was harder than he expected, his body felt like lead and responded slowly to his commands, he did figure that it was to be expected after the ordeal he went through and having to adjust to his new body mass. He also must have been making more noise than he realized as a nurse eventually poked her head in to look in on him and to give him a glass of much needed water. Clearly Fuji had noted his need for space but his request for water was real and needed so he was thankful when the cool liquid smoothed down his throat. He managed to shoo the nurse out shortly after that without much fuss and with her promising a doctor would be by soon to check on him. Yes, in all honesty he was curious about many things and had contemplated asking the nurse but for the most part he would rather hear it from a friend than a stranger who knew nothing about him. There were also things that he just didn't need to hear right now, not if he didn't want to cry again.

The tears were gone for now, though he knew that he had not fully accepted his new condition, but for the sake of his pride he would be strong and enjoy his friend's company while he had it. He knew there would be more than enough time to bemoan his fate later when everyone else was asleep. "Is it really morning?" Shishido questioned when he noticed Fuji's return, his voice still rough from the abuse it had taken and then the lack of use. He was propped up on his side meaning that he only had a limited view of the room, but he supposed wings falling off and no healing powers meant his back was too raw and delicate to rest against yet. As he watched his friend he wondered just how long he had been sleeping for. A couple of hours, days or weeks? And did Choutarou and his friends know what happened?

"And what did you bring me?" He tried to force a smile at the knowledge that he was being pampered but the attempt fell short so he gave up. He was thankful for his friend's efforts, he just couldn't find it in himself to smile yet. It was too soon and because of the cure or whatever the medlab had given him he was still feeling more than a little out of it still.

"All good things, I promise," Fuji said, and seated himself in the chair beside Shishido's bed. He noticed that someone had already brought him the requested water, but he lifted the bottles out of the bag anyway. "Some water," he explained, "and snacks. Entertainment." He stacked the magazines on the bedside table and left the MD player atop those. He honestly didn't know how long the staff were planning on keeping Shishido here, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

He only wished he'd employed that philosophy during the mission. "How are you feeling?" he asked again. He wasn't really expecting a different answer.

"Thanks." Shishido said as did his best to watch the objects as they were stacked up on his table, it was weird, they were in focus, but they just felt distant and odd to him, as if they weren't as sharp as he remembered that they should be. Hell, did he really survive 18 years of his life seeing everyday things like this? He wondered how hard it would be to read things like this, first of all he'd have to remember to actually turn the lights on and then be able to hold up a book and turn pages. He sighed. Maybe he could just convince people to read to him until he was feeling better or at least more motivated to torture himself. Shit, being cured sucked and it was only his first day living with it.

"And I still feel like hell." Shishido wasn't expecting that feeling to go away anytime soon. "Have you called Yuushi and Choutarou yet?" They should probably be notified so they could come visit and just know what happened to him. "And what," He had to pause to clear his throat, his voice still rough, "what day is it?" He occasionally spent the day holed up somewhere else so they might not be worrying yet.

"It's Monday," Fuji explained. "You've been out for a few days." Briefly he wondered if he should have lied instead, to assuage whatever fears Shishido might have about people wondering where he'd been, but decided it was better to tell the truth after all. "I haven't called anyone else," he went on, "but I can, if you'd like me to. What ... what do you want me to tell them?" He wouldn't have known if left to his own devices, which was half the reason he hadn't called at all. The rest of the reasoning lie with the fact that Fuji didn't know if Shishido even wanted anyone to know if he was here. It was ... humbling, at the very least, to be seen like this, both cured and miserable.

"Monday?!" Shishido startled and shifted causing pain to race up his back where he was likely putting stress on the stitches there. He couldn't believe he was out of it for that long, but then he couldn't heal himself quickly anymore either. His friends and lover were no doubt worried about him, the last Oshitari heard from him he was going on the mission, Ohtori didn't even know that much. What were they thinking right now? And what could he possibly tell them or have Fuji tell them over the phone. If they knew he was injured they'd both would most likely want to see him despite having to come to Ryuhana to do it. Even if he didn't tell them he was cured they'd realize it the second they saw him.

After that Choutarou would coddle him and treat him as if he were a broken doll, all actions out of love and caring but would undoubtedly just irk his own pride after a few hours of it. Oshitari would probably take one look at how pathetic he was right now and insist on killing everyone who ever stepped foot in that building. And maybe Fuji and Kirihara too for good measure. And that would be bad. Especially if Ohtori caught wind of it and offered to help. "Shit." He muttered to himself. Maybe he was still out of it if he was more concerned with Ohtori and Oshitari's reactions to finding out he was cured than actually being cured. Besides, they could both take it like calm rational people. Looking over at Fuji he decided he wasn't going to hold his breath on that one.

Okay, what he needed to do was get well enough so that he didn't need coddling and he would have enough energy to convince Oshitari that he was fine and didn't need anything. Well maybe some new shirts. He groaned and slumped against the pillows again. This was such a nightmare. "I don't even know what you could say... don't suppose you can say that the mission was such a success that we celebrated with a trip to the hot springs and we'll be back soon?" And then Ohtori wouldn't even want to speak to him. Yeah... that wouldn't be good.

"I could if you want me to," Fuji said, though the tone of Shishido's voice made Fuji suspect that he didn't really want that. He had to admit, if only to himself, that a trip to a hot spring didn't actually sound like a bad idea -- in a few more days, Shishido should be healed enough to move, and a trip for therapeutic purposes could only help...

Ah, but Fuji knew he was being ridiculous. What he really wanted was to reassure Shishido that everything would be okay, and he wasn't even sure that it would be, himself, so how could he impart that to his friend? Nonetheless, Fuji reached for his hand and held it loosely, just enough to maintain contact, enough to remind both Shishido and himself that he was here. "Whatever you want," he said quietly. "I can call them, when you're ready to talk to them, or ... anything else you need me to do. Really. Anything. Just ... take your time. Rest ...." I'm so sorry, was what he wanted to say, but the words just weren't there....

Shishido gave Fuji's hand a squeeze as he looked at his face, his friend really was beautiful. He blinked and shook his head slightly to clear his mind of that thought. He didn't know where that came from so suddenly but thoughts like that wouldn't help things right now. He had to concentrate on what he was going to say to Ohtori and his friends. "I think... that since I'm up, I should call them myself." It wasn't something he should unload onto Fuji, besides if he did it himself he could have more time to figure out what he was saying and maybe make it seem less of a big deal. Even if it was a big deal that was still causing him to freak out constantly right now.

However, there was something else causing him minor duress at the moment and he was completely blaming it on the water. "Uh... Shuusuke." Shishido hated being so dependent on other people but unless he wanted to embarrass himself even worse he had to do it. "Can you help me to the bathroom?" he asked, already shifting unsteadily and slowly on the bed to sit up. In theory it shouldn't be that difficult a task but he felt as if he was in a stranger's body and having someone nearby to make sure he didn't topple over and extend his stay here seemed like a good idea to him.

Fuji tried not to smile at that -- it wasn't actually funny, after all. Instead, he offered a hand to Shishido and helped him to stand. He was surprised to find that Shishido was unsteady when he did get to his feet, even though to think about it, he probably shouldn't have been. The doctors hadn't told him much, though he'd overheard some words about Shishido's bone density changing, and obviously without the wings for balance, even walking would have changed. Frowning with concern, he slowly guided Shishido to the private room's en suite bathroom, taking each step one at a time. "You've got it," he encouraged quietly. "I'll just wait out here -- if you need any other help, let me know, okay?"

"I think I'll manage to hold it on my own Shuusuke... thanks anyway." Shishido chuckled to show that he was teasing. Even if he was half dead he wouldn't make a friend do that much for him. That would just be too weird. Though he did appreciate his friend's help to get to the bathroom. He knew he would need some assistance but he hadn't expected it to be that different. His steps were slow and heavy and his balance was off the whole time. If it wasn't for Fuji holding him stay balanced that he was sure he would have toppled over. Clearly it would take some training before he could move smoothly again, and knowing just how pathetic those exercises would be was almost frustrating enough to make him cry again.

As he finished up his business, thankful that he stayed standing the whole time, he moved to the sink to wash his hands and to take a good look in the mirror. Despite not looking his best from lying in bed for so long he didn't look as different as he expected to. Yes, he was missing the majestic white wings but he'd seen himself in the mirror with the image inducer activated enough times before to not be startled by it. What was odd was not being able to feel them at all behind him or to see traces of feathers anywhere.

Carefully turning, he looked over his shoulder at the mirror and frowned. He couldn't see the cuts from where his wings used to be but from the bandages around him he imagined it couldn't be good. Nothing to do about it now though, he'd just have to focus on getting better and wait for three months to be up. That in mind he started away from the sink only to find that he had misjudged his centre of gravity and began toppling forward. He managed to reach out an arm to the towel rack for stability but his unexpected new weight surprised him and he fell to his knees hard. "Fuck." He cursed as he hit the ground. How uncool was that.

A heavy thud alerted Fuji to the potential trouble inside the bathroom. He'd been happy that Shishido had been doing so well, too; it would have been an even more severe blow to his ego to ask for help while in the bathroom as well as just outside it. He knocked lightly on the door and listened carefully. "Ryou?" he asked. "Ryou, are you alright in there?" He hoped that Shishido wasn't left in a terribly compromising position, but he'd heard the sink running, so he had to at least have been decent beyond that door....

"Yeah, I just..." Shishido's voice trailed off as he looked at the floor below him. He didn't trip or just collapse from exhaustion or something. No, instead he misjudged his centre of balance without wings and toppled over because he couldn't support his own weight when trying to catch himself. Oh yeah, was so not admitting that aloud, it sounded far too lame in his head to ever actually be voiced. Clearly he was going to need to work the not toppling over thing.

What he also needed was to stand up before he completely embarassed himself in front of Fuji. It was one thing to ask for help walking, but just to stand? His pride was already stinging, he didn't know if it could handle that. However, his muscles were already exhausted and everytime he kept trying to spread his wings for balance he just felt an empty void and twinge of pain. Clearly he wasn't going to get very far unless he crawled. He hung his head and took a deep a breath to compose himself and waited to see if Fuji would come in to help him or if he'd have to call out and ask.

Well, Fuji thought, if Shishido was was otherwise alright ... He cracked the door open and looked in to see what was the matter, only to find Shishido on his hands and knees on the bathroom floor. Were it anyone else, he might have been amused, but he knew all the trauma behind this situation, and couldn't possibly be anything other than compassionate, so he crouched to Shishido's level and extended a hand. There was no point in asking if Shishido was okay -- not again -- no point in any apology, even if Fuji knew this was entirely his fault.

"Thanks." Shishido muttered as he took the hand and let Fuji help him to his feet. "It's weird still... not having, well you know, guess I'll need to practice walking." Maybe after he rested a while longer he'd be able to walk better, even if he did weigh more he was still muscled and should be able to move more smoothly than he was now. Still, he was glad that it was only Fuji here to witness this moment, he hated getting other people's pity or looking weak which was why he was also still debating just what he'd say to Ohtori, his boyfriend who cared just a bit too much for his independent streak to handle at times.

Getting back to the bed with Fuji's help, Shishido practically fell onto the soft mattress with a groan. Next time, maybe he should just let Kirihara explode, it'd be less exhausting.

Fuji didn't know what to say or do. It was hard to tell from Shishido's body language alone whether he wanted to be left alone to rest -- the doctors did say that rest was important -- or not. He hovered near the edge of the bed, not yet sitting, an uneasy smile on his face. "Do you ..." he began slowly. He couldn't remember being more unsure about anything ever before.

Shishido looked tired, and reasonably so; he looked drained and so unlike the person that Fuji knew him to be. Even if he knew that he'd recover from the trauma of this weekend, he'd still be human for half a year. Would it be the same? Would he still be confident and together and all the other things that Fuji admired? He sighed, and refrained from touching Shishido's face, no matter how much he thought it might comfort him. "Do you want me to stay?"

Shifting on the bed so that he could see Fuji better without aggravating his back or straining his neck he let out a sigh when his friend came back into focus for him. "This," He gestured to himself and the bed, "It's not your fault Shuusuke." If the positions were reversed he knew he'd be blaming himself and he could tell from Fuji's hesitations toward him that he was feeling the same way right now. Which was lame because really, he had known the risks going in there and he was the one that had put himself in the way of the cure darts. It's not like Fuji ordered him to or shot him with the darts himself.

Fuji knew, logically, that it wasn't his fault, but he couldn't shake the feeling that he was somehow to blame. Hesitantly, he sat on the edge of the bed, trying not to look as apologetic as he surely felt. He forced a smile instead, and reached a gentle hand to Shishido's brow. "I know," Fuji said. "But do you want me to stay?" He could just as easily leave, of course...

Part of Shishido wanted to say no and send Fuji on his way to get some of the rest his body was suddenly craving, but the rest of him that had managed to actually learn something over the past few years about people knew that by looking at Fuji he knew that that wouldn't be a good idea. "If you have nothing better to do, you could always read to me." Shishido was too tired to bother with conversation and his eyes were too out of it still to focus on words so he figured this would be a nice compromise. Fuji could stay near him and appease some of his guilt and Shishido could listen to some magazine aricles and rest his eyes. And people said he wasn't a genius.

"Read?" Fuji blinked, surprised; he hadn't expected that answer. But it was, of course, better than sitting around and feeling guilty over what had happened. Surely Shishido would be fine -- it was just a matter of getting over this hurdle. And he would get over it. He had to.

Fuji wished he'd brought some books instead, since magazines weren't exactly suitable for bedtime stories, but they would do. He reached for one of the issues on the table and scanned the table of contents for something at least a little interesting, and was happy to find that it wasn't all ridiculous sensationalism. A little more relaxed, he started to read the article aloud in a clear, quiet voice, hoping that he could soothe Shishido to sleep, at least for the moment. He was glad, he realized as he read, that Shishido would let him stay. If he didn't, there was no telling what Fuji might do on his own ... nothing destructive, surely, but nothing particularly productive, either. Hopefully Hanamura-sensei would find someone to fill in for instructing the advanced class....