RP Log: Ryoga & Rin

[designer-adore.livejournal.com]

date; Last Saturday
rating; PG-13? For making out.
summary; A random morning, Rin's stupid, issues arise, Rin's stupid some more. \o/ All in all a rather depressing log.

The first time Ryoga opened his eyes on Saturday morning and looked out the window, it just looked cold. So, he had merrily forced himself back to sleep, curling further into the covers and the now foreign sensation of a warm body beside him. He slept maybe twenty minutes more before he just couldn't feign sleep, anymore - Rin was up - and the apartment smelled distinctly like the coffee he brought back from America. Many of his days had been like this, this week, where he had to be gently dragged away from sleep to get him out of bed as nothing sounded more appealing than just sleeping the days away.

At first, he had been able to blame jetlag, but he knew that it had something to do with his power. The energy field around him was more powerful, draining more of his energy, and it was taking a lot more of that precious energy to maintain his identity. One morning when Rin was away at training, Ryoga had stumbled into the bathroom to discover his skin was powder white, his eyes had gone red, and his hair was white as snow. He had immediately trained himself to focus on these three things at all times so that even in his sleep, his skin would have a nice tone, his eyes would be blue, and his hair its usual black.

Then there would be little things - he would have to mimic the way he once held chopsticks. It was easy enough just to copy someone else who would actually probably be better than him at eating with chopsticks, but it would look weird if he was eating exactly like the person across the table from him. Little things like chopsticks and how he brushed his teeth began to add up, though - suddenly, it was everything down to picking out the clothes he would wear each day. Even though he insisted he was just worn out from travel, after a week of that, he knew it could always be like this unless something changed.

By that evening, he was even using his power to keep the signs of exhaustion from showing on his face and was keeping careful control over his voice so his tired mind would not just slide into Rin's persona because it would be easier than piecing together fragments of his own.

The day was cold, as usual these days, and the room was generally chilly, air much colder than the warm sheets of the bed, after the night. Immediately, when Rin slipped out of the bed, quietly, he grabbed a hoodie and a pair of trackpants, lately a typical outfit for him. He didn't really want to leave the bed, it was only a week since Ryoga came back, and it still felt strangely wonderful to wake up to another person in the bed. But he did, unable to stay still, and while he certainly wouldn't mind watching the other in his sleep, the blonde was also finding that little habit of his a bit strange, now.

He went on with his daily routine, brushing teeth, washing face, shower, but he didn't dry his hair immediately, instead went to make himself some coffee and start on breakfast for the two of them. After so long, Rin was quite used to cooking for two, and November, was quite weird in that regard. On off days he found himself making food for two, even though it was only him (and the kitten, but he ate his kitten food), and not even at Ryuhana.

The thought of the cat made him pause and leave the kitchen to look for the tiny creature -- as expected, he lay on Rin's pillow, using the opportunity when the blonde left it unattended. The image presented to his eyes gave him another pause, as he allowed himself to stare for a little while.

Ryoga wandered back out of the bathroom, running his fingers through his hair. Things like cold did not bother him, anymore - he had been carefully feigning such things, but even if he could register that things were either cold or hot, they did not affect him. He could drink boiling hot coffee or wander around half-naked on a cold morning. As such, he was in nothing but pajama pants when he did come back into the bedroom to find Rin staring at the cat that had taken up residence on the blonde's pillow.

This was the hardest. Mimicking himself to Rin had always been the most difficult - he remembered Rin's initial reaction to him no longer having his own distinct scent or when Ryoga's power was out of control and he would take on some of Rin's attributes. He paused for a fraction of a second before crossing the room to the other man. Gently, he wrapped his arms around Rin from behind and murmured, "Whatever you're makin' for breakfast smells good." Of course, he could have easily identified all of the ingredients thanks to his power, but he didn't flaunt things like that as much as he had when he was younger.

The warm arms around his waist reminded him of certain words he heard a while ago. From Yamato, a person from another world, where Ryoga was supposed to be much more affectionate. But right now, when Rin thought about all the smaller or bigger shows of affection his Ryoga was giving him, he wouldn't trade it for the world. Like this, it was just right.

"Mm, of course, my cooking is delicious" Rin grinned, lightly running his fingertips over the other's forearms, "You hungry?" Furball raised his head to look at them, but apparently, they weren't that interesting, or he was still too tired, because he curled up into a small ball of fluff again. "It'll be ready in 10 to 15 minutes," a small quirk of head allowed the blonde to place a soft kiss on Ryoga's cheek.

Ryoga glanced back at Rin out of the corner of his eye. He wasn't hungry because he didn't get hungry, anymore... he obviously needed food to eat, all living things did, in some form or another. Just, along with everything else he was losing, one of the most recent losses was his appetite. He only remembered to eat when someone else was eating. He made a mental note, then, to find a way to have a reminder at least three times every day so he would eat. Following Rin's schedule was well and good, but there would be times when Rin was not around.

"How long have you been up?" Ryoga's arms dropped away from Rin and he wandered over to the dresser to grab a hoodie for himself. He might not have felt the cold, but he could tell his body was showing signs of being cold and Rin was going to wonder if he didn't put something on, soon. As an afterthought, he also stepped into his slippers that were sitting next to the bed. "I didn't notice when you got up."

"A while," Rin shrugged, stepping to the side a bit to have an eye on the kitchen and the food he was cooking, "I didn't want to wake you up," a soft smile appeared, one that always came around when they were together and alone. He ran a hand through his still slightly damp hair, it'd be a complete mess in a few minutes, but the blonde didn't exactly care. It was the weekend, he wasn't planning on going out, and was certain that Ryoga wouldn't care either. All that aside, Rin was sure that even with his hair in a mess, he looked good enough. "You look like an angel, when you're asleep," he finished with an amused wink.

As much as Rin mourned the loss of a sexy sight that was Ryoga only in his pajama bottoms, he didn't comment. After all, if the other didn't dress himself, he would force him -- it was all too easy to catch cold like this (not like Rin knew that first hand, but the fact remained). Besides, he didn't want to seem like a pervert -- even if ogling your own boyfriend was hardly perverted (except he still didn't know if 'boyfriend' was the right term, it sure was the easiest one to use). All that also made him think of the newest contents of his bag, which... he was still a tiny bit too shy to think of.

"An angel?" When the words left Ryoga's mouth, they were with a sneer and some level of disbelief. He turned back to Rin, dropping his hands in the pocket of the hoodie, and replied, "Talk about exaggerations." He went back to the bed and settled on the edge so he could pass his hand over Furball's back, waking him from his slumber. The small creature's fur was soft to the touch, but Ryoga quickly regretted waking him. Furball rolled over on his back and started batting at his fingers playfully, trying to catch them between his two paws.

He looked back over his shoulder, ignoring the kitten trying to claw apart his fingers, and fixed his eyes on Rin. There was something different about him, today, but even with his keen powers of observation he could not quite put his finger on what it was... "Something on your mind?"

Aww, it was no exaggeration, in Rin's opinion. Or well, maybe a tiny bit, but Ryoga did look rather peaceful when asleep. And one couldn't say he was generally rather grumpy when awake. But it only amused the blonde mutant, in a way it was Ryoga's charm -- maybe not exactly what drew him in, but in the end, he came to adore that part too.

The question caught him off guard and brought the slightest of blushes onto the lightly tanned cheeks, "Um, no, I don't think so," naturally, whenever nervous, his hand shot up, pulling at the short hair on his nape, twirling it around one finger. Most of the time he didn't notice he did that, if he did, then he'd do his all not to -- why give others such a clear sign he was nervous and most probably lying? Then again, most of the time he had nothing to hide from Ryoga, but this right now... was something he sure would not want to air just yet. If ever.

Now that he was fully focused on Rin, it did seem as though Rin was nervous. It was probably something silly and girly that Ryoga did not really want to hear about, anyway. Not like there had ever really been any need or desire to hide anything between the two of them. Other than... well, Ryoga did what he could too keep just how problematic his powers were under control. Maybe Rin had burned breakfast... but, no, Ryoga would have been able to smell that.

"...Huh." Ryoga moved his hand away from the hyperactive kitten and got back to his feet, stretching. "If you say so."

Relief washed over Rin when Ryoga did not prod the issue further, though it was tainted with a bit of disappointment at the same time. He smiled, corners of his lips edging a bit, "Yeah, I say so~," and with that he excused himself to the kitchen, to check up on the food. It was probably ready by now.

Inside, he left his shoulders sag further, disappointed with himself as well that he did not have the guts to do something simple as... this was supposed to be. They were together for a good year already, or longer, Rin really did not count anymore, at this point... it was only natural, right? The more he thought on it, while preparing their breakfast, the more distracted he became, and distraction while dealing with boiling hot water was never good. Especially not when one had very weak or maybe even non existing sense of self-preservat-- "FUCK," Rin yelled, almost screamed in pain, when he touched the hot metal pot (somehow, he had enough to brain to put it away instead of dropping). In an instant he put the hand under a stream of cold water to ease the pain, his body would take care of the burn, "ShitshitshitFUCK," no more thinking for him when cooking. Never. Again.

Ryoga had wandered into the living room to flop on the couch for a bit, but the sudden scream brought his attention to Rin in the kitchen. He was on his feet immediately and went into the kitchen to see that Rin must have... burned himself, theoretically. "Cold water isn't going to help in the long run," Ryoga told him with a bit of irritation. He went to the fridge and grabbed a jar of pickles, and then to the counter for a paper towel, dipping the towel into the pickels. "Here," he grabbed Rin's hand and gently applied the towel. "I know it sounds ridiculous, but the brine should help. Just... don't take it off for a few minutes while you heal, okay?" Maybe it was an American thing, Ryoga thought, but it worked, so why question it.

With a sigh, he motioned to the stove. The water was still boiling. "That's gonna boil over - want me to do something with it?"

Rin sniffed, pouting at Ryoga, but actually glad for the help -- it did ease the pain of the burn, though the healing process was still somewhat painful (and there was no helping that). With his both hands occupied he couldn't brush away the tears that gathered in the corners of his eyes through the whole painful ordeal.

"Just put it away," he muttered, embarrassed at his own clumsiness, even though normally he wasn't that bad. Normally he wasn't clumsy at all. His fingers twitched, and the blonde half groaned, half growled low in his throat.

Not questioning it further, Ryoga turned off the heat below the pot and picked it up the pot by the handle, pouring the water out in the sink. He then put the pot back on one of the cool burners to let it cool down so he could put it away. "Sounds like it hurts more when it's healing than when it happened to begin with." His eyes turned to Rin's hand which was at this point covered by the paper towel and his other hand, so he couldn't assess the damage.

"Yeah," the pain lingered for a while even after everything was healed, his body did not develop a way to dull the pain for him, "It sometimes does, mostly because it's a continuous pain."

Slowly, he pulled the wet paper off his skin, watching what was left of the burn disappear and fade away, "It takes less time these days," Rin commented curiously, peeling off the rest of the paper towel. His hand was wet, and smelled like pickles, which the blonde found rather hilarious... but when he looked up at Ryoga, he bit the inside of his cheek. Determined, with a decision in his mind (to at least get a good kiss today), Rin stepped closer and tilting his head up, pressed his lips firmly against Ryoga's.

Any response that was forming in Ryoga's mind died on his lips as Rin kissed him. Not that he did not see it coming, but he had to wonder what it was that prompted these sudden kisses. Regardless, he leaned into the kiss a bit more, tilting his head to allow for the kiss to deepen. His hands were back in the pocket of his hoodie, again, and he leaned back just enough so he could rest his hip against the counter without breaking the kiss.

Normally his kisses were more affectionate, than anything else, this time, he put something else into it -- passion and maybe a bit of desperation. Gently, Rin bit down on Ryoga's lower lip, while wiping his hands on the back of his pants (he was going to do the laundry later today anyway) to wrap them around Ryoga's neck. That was the intention, at any rate, but first he pulled the other's hands out of the hoodie's pocket, to not have them dig into his stomach when he leaned closer. Then Rin changed his mind and instead pulled the warm fabric up a little, allowing his fingers access to the skin underneath.

Muscles of Ryoga's abdomen tightened under the light touch, flexing against the sensation of cool fingers on his skin. For the moment, his hands hung limply not far from the pocket where they had been while his brain naturally began charting possiblities, taking in every last detail to try to predict what Rin would do next, try to determine the best course of action based upon the facts. This was obviously a come-on of some sort, that much did not escape Ryoga... but how to respond.

What felt like an eternity of pause to consider for him, but was really a little over a second, passed quietly. His hands moved to cover Rin's forearms, dragging up the cloth of his sleeves. He pushed himself off the counter with his hip and turned the tables, lending more passion - mostly manufactured - from his side of the kiss. He pressed himself a bit closer, tilted his head just a bit more to deepen the kiss, and let his eyes fall closed.

That was a pleasant, but perhaps a little surprising change. Rin wasn't going to complain, though, as his fingers continued their slow exploration. His mind shut down completely, body moving on instinct, pressing closer and pulling Ryoga's hips closer, just touching more.

Their breakfast lay on the counter, completely forgotten.

The blonde moaned softly, before he could catch himself. But in a longer run, it didn't matter, for once, he didn't feel like having to keep up appearances even when intimate. For once, he'd just let it be.

A low growl rumbled out of Ryoga's throat in return and he edged a bit closer, pulling his small height advantage on Rin. This close, he could only smell Rin, the scent of the food that had been abandoned on the counter was overpowered by the smell of... shower. Soap - Rin's shampoo - the residual smell of some sort of body wash or perhaps after shave.

Ryoga's hands wandered up Rin's arms, coming to lie flat against his chest. His body was moving on its own, now - a mix of instinct and his powers quickly running calculations moved his hips forward for him, balled his hands into fists on Rin's chest for him... two conflicting instincts of, "this is what is supposed to be happening" and "this is not what he wants" rolled through his mind.

What do I want? That was the million dollar question that Ryoga could not answer.

Rin felt something was off, the kiss was all he could ask for -- wonderful, breathtaking, but at the same time he could feel some sort of tension. The fists on his chest were enough of a sign that yes, something was, in fact, very wrong. He didn't want to stop, especially not after hearing that growl and with their current proximity... but soon enough worry took over and the blonde forced himself to pull away.

He allowed his hands to stay on Ryoga's hips, under the hoodie, liking the feel of warm flesh. With a last, chaste, kiss, Rin opened his eyes, looking up, gaze curious and a little scared. His cheeks were flushed deep red, lips swollen and of a similar colour, "What's wrong?" A wary question, as in all honesty, Rin wasn't sure he wanted to know. There were many things that could be wrong, his mind provided him with plenty of examples, and none of them ... were things he'd ever want to hear.

Contact was broken and that was enough to bring Ryoga out of the daze he had fallen into. He opened his eyes slowly, knowing that they were probably hinting with Rin's own amber near the irises, but he could not be bothered to properly keep them blue. Wrong. What was wrong. This whole situation was wrong.

"You don't want this," Ryoga explained, his voice a bit dark. His hands relaxed in Rin's shirt, eventually falling away. "I'm acting off your expectations, that isn't what you want."

"Huh?" A very eloquent response, Rin'd roll eyes at himself, if there weren't more important things on his mind at the moment. The two sentences were simple enough, he shouldn't have any problems with understanding, yet... he did. Off his expectations? Didn't want this? Confusion was crystal clear on his face, the blonde didn't bother to hide anything, "What are you talking about?" His own hands also dropped away, but he didn't step away.

"It's my power," the other mutant explained. "You don't want me just reacting to you because my power tells me to, right?" Of course, he could be totally wrong - maybe it really was what Rin wanted... he had seemed pretty enthusiastic, before. What Ryoga was not saying - what he was not going to say - was that his wants and desires weren't a factor, anymore. He didn't have them any more than he had finger prints or his own distinct smell. Part of him even questioned whether it was him or the power that loved Rin.

Which was an indirect way of saying that Ryoga didn't want any of that, at least that's how Rin understood it, and it stung. "That's... true," he nodded, swallowing a lump in his throat and immediately forcing on a smile onto his face. The closest he could get to a genuine smile -- which was quite close, after years of practise. Furball conveniently picked this very moment to march into the kitchen, looking for them. It gave Rin an opportunity to look away and move -- and he did both, to pick up the kitten and cradle it against his chest.

"Sunshine..." Ryoga did not know how to feel - or even what to say. He defaulted to setting a hand on Rin's shoulder with a sigh, and shaking his head. "Look, I've been trying to figure this out... I'm not ignoring you, or anything, I just can't trust that anything I'm feeling is me until I get my power back under control. A lot happened while I was gone - I've changed." None of this was going to make Rin feel better, but at least it was the truth as Ryoga knew it.

Furball apparently wasn't in a mood for cuddling and he made it clear, so Rin let him go to wander around. As he straightened, a shiver ran up his spine and he felt suddenly cold for some reason, "It's fine," Rin said, pulling his sleeves down and over his hands, "You could have told me, though," it also hurt to be told so late. But then again, he probably deserved it for not telling Ryoga about his own problem a year ago. They were even now... "Then maybe we could... eh, no, nevermind. It's okay."

As much as the blonde never wanted to fake anything in front of the other, this time it was stronger than him, he covered his worry and hurt with the usual smile. He even managed to stop the unnecessary emotions from showing in his gaze, "We'll figure something out somehow," his jaws hurt, and he rubbed his hands together, trying to warm up the cold fingers, "For now, breakfast. I'm hungry." Hungry was probably not the best words to use, but Ryoga (or anyone actually) really didn't have to know about the strange cravings Rin had at the most odd times.

"I don't have an appetite." Truth. He did not have an appetite. By all means, he should eat, of course. But this was just like how he did not feel hot or cold and how he did not have any sort of sexual desire for Rin which had nothing to do with Rin and everything to do with Ryoga's power. He did not have the desires or cravings others had. Period.

"Sunshine," he started carefully, feeling a bit like he was approaching a slumbering lion. Miss step now and he could do some damage that could last forever. On the other hand, at least he could be certain... "I may not have desires or cravings 'cause of my power... but I know I want to be with you. It's a different sort of want - not like some sort of instinct."

If he didn't leave in a moment, he'd just... break down. Break a promise he made to himself many years ago. Rin knew Ryoga had all the best intentions, but right now, standing here and hearing all of this, was like adding salt to the wound. A very fresh wound.

His thoughts were scattered, mind unable to focus on one thing. Either finish breakfast -- but he suddenly lost any desire to eat as well, or run... if run, then where? Laundry? Back to sleep? Take Furball out? And most of all, what was he supposed to say? Rin just needed time. Mostly to calm down, and maybe relax. It hurt, especially with how sudden it was and the bad timing, but it didn't change his feelings in any way. He wasn't going to just pack and leave now...

"Okay," Rin finally answered, unable to clear his voice of uncertainty. "I guess I'll take a bath first, then," he continued, "Then finish breakfast, then laundry, then..." he trailed off, thinking of what else he could be doing to get his mind off these things.

Now Rin just was not listening plain and simple. Ryoga frowned. "Rin, look at me - listen to me." Not that he had any idea what to say even if he did get through to the blonde. What was there to say that would make any difference or would make things clearer. "I'll figure this out. You know I wouldn't even bother if it weren't hell'a important to me. I know it upsets you, too - but it doesn't gotta be just you. I'm a little more reliable than that."

"I am listening," Rin answered immediately, with a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose, "I'm always listening." Of course he did, even if he might not have wanted to. Looking, on the other hand, was something else -- a bit more problematic. "I know," a pause, deep breath and he raised his gaze, "But don't expect me to calm down in an instant, just like that" he smiled tiredly, but for the first time genuinely.

"I'm not exactly thinking straight right now," if he was thinking at all. At this point he had to wonder, his mind seemed blank. "Give me some alone time and we'll talk then, okay?" Rin almost wanted to reach out, brush his fingers against Ryoga's cheek, but something was stopping him.

"Yeah..." Ryoga did not know what else to say, and something akin to irritation was prickling over his skin. "Have all the alone time you want - we'll talk, later." Moving away from Rin, Ryoga went back to the bedroom to get dressed properly - he had no idea where to go, but getting out suddenly sounded like a brilliant plan. Get out, remember to eat something, get a little of his own alone time, perhaps. Maybe work on focusing his powers.

The worst way to start the day. If he could, he'd rewind time and start again, and not make this stupid mistake. He'd apologize later, Rin thought, sliding down to sit on the floor in the kitchen, it probably wouldn't fix things, just apologizing, but it'd be a start.

Furball meowed at him, forcing him out of the daze he fell into, or maybe he even fell asleep with his eyes open -- he didn't notice he has been sitting there for a few minutes already, quite motionless. "You must be hungry, hmm?" With a sigh, he picked himself up, even if neither of them were eating, it didn't mean the kitten had to suffer as well. Rin prepared him his food, then went on to do his thing. A hot bath was in order, then all the other things he could think of doing to keep his mind occupied.

Comments

[ad-exia.livejournal.com]

I only got to skim this, but somehow it makes Ryoma really want to give Ryoga... some kind of talking-to. D:

[perfectassassin.livejournal.com]

Ryoma. XD ♥ It would be... quite funny, I admit. XD; (To see that happen.) But then again, I think they both (Ryoga and Rin) need some talking to. :D; Or something... *facepalm*

[ad-exia.livejournal.com]

Haha. Ryoma's not ready to sign up for relationship counselor just yet, but he says he should be allowed to tell his brother he's being weird. ::dies::