RP Log: Ryoma & Yuuta

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Date: Wednesday afternoon (July 4), before the assembly-ish
Rating: Language and anger?
Summary: After hearing that he's the cause of the tremors, Ryoma worries that maybe he's the cause of the disaster, too. He is stupid tries to push Yuuta away so the other won't get hurt, but it kind of backfires.




All Yuuta wanted was for Ryoma to stop bleeding all over his bed. Okay, sure, dirty sheets weren't really a peeve of his, but having a bloody nose that often couldn't have been good for the boy, right? Which was why he brought Ryoma nearly kicking and screaming to the med lab. All he wanted was for Ryoma to get better. But what he got in actuality was... some sort of sci-fi explanation about something Yuuta didn't quite understand in the first place. He knew that there were mutants whose powers were going haywire, but that was just about how deep his knowledge about the subject was. Now he knew that his boyfriend, of all people, was the cause of these incidents. He was also told a whole bunch of other stuff, but Yuuta had a hard time paying attention when his headmaster was giving him funny looks. What was up with that? And then, Tomiyama excused himself, leaving the two alone in the sterile room in an uncomfortable silence. It remained silent for a few more minutes before Yuuta could finally bring himself back to reality; he had to say something.

"...What the Hell was that all about?"

That 'something' didn't have to be anything constructive, it seemed.

Ryoma hadn't wanted to come here in the first place. Fine - he'd admit that he felt downright crappy after three more nosebleeds in as many days. But all he'd wanted was for the doctors to... you know, give him something and send him away. He hadn't wanted them to run a whole bunch of tests and call the headmaster on him. Who'd then proceeded to explain that he was the one giving himself the nosebleeds - and oh yeah, screwing up the powers of every telepath in Japan. Oh, that was just great. Ryoma'd stopped listening about halfway through the lecture he was getting - fine, he hadn't gone to class in three days, fine, he should've reported to medlab earlier, whatever... it wasn't until Tomiyama said something else, something about this maybe being connected to... something bigger, that Ryoma'd started listening absently again.

Until Tomiyama had finished and he and Yuuta had been left with each other and a very heavy silence. But finally, Yuuta spoke - it took a minute to register; Ryoma'd been thinking. But the only conclusion he was coming to was one he didn't like, so he frowned and glanced over. "Nothing good." He paused. "Fuck. Why's it always like this?" He wasn't really asking Yuuta - it wasn't like the other mutant knew the answer any more than Ryoma did. Or didn't, as was the case.

Yuuta looked over, sighing softly as he was just as confused as Ryoma. Or well, he thought Ryoma was confused. "Not sure..." But then he laughed softly, shaking his head. "Shitty things always happen to you, huh?" He smiled, trying to lighten the situation. "Did you fill yer sleep reserves? 'Cause it sounds like you'll be up for a while."

Honestly, Ryoma was pretty sure "shitty" didn't even begin to describe it. But as he watched Yuuta smile and try to make him feel better, there was this sick tugging feeling in his stomach that just wouldn't let him smile back. Whether he'd known it or not, Yuuta'd hit the nail on the head - because seriously, how stupid could Ryoma get? He'd tried to ignore the bad things that had happened, and they'd snuck up on him anyway. And what if this wasn't the end of it? He might have tuned Tomiyama out for a bit, but he'd heard the end of the lecture. The part about being careful because he believed the disaster they were trying to prevent was psionic. Well, Ryoma knew all about psionic disasters. What if this one and the last one were related?

What if it was him?

Instead of smiling and making some snarky comment like he knew Yuuta would be expecting, Ryoma hunched over, hanging his head. This was going to be hard. But it was better this way. Really. "Look," he said quietly, ignoring the question. "You should go away."

Indeed, the response wasn't something Yuuta was expecting at all, which left him a little more confused than previously. "Go away?" He paused, pondering the phrase. "For the night?" he asked.

"No." Ryoma refused to look up - if he just stayed like this his hair obscured enough of his peripheral vision that he couldn't see Yuuta. "I mean, go away. This's stupid. It's not gonna work." Not if he was even maybe going to be the one to... to do whatever it was that was so awful. He'd already done something awful, how could it be different this time?

Yuuta's eye twitched. This was really not something he wanted to hear at the moment. "...What the fuck? You're coming up with this shit now?"

Ryoma resisted the urge to growl with the stupidity of the situation. "Yes. Sorry I'm so slow," he bit out, hands clenching into fists. He really was starting to get angry now - good, that would make it sound better. "I said go away."

"That wasn't what I meant," Yuuta said, nearly growling himself. You'd think that his boyfriend would like some comfort after finding out shit like that. "Why the fuck won't it work?"

"Because I'm me," Ryoma said flatly, risking a glance in Yuuta's direction, trying to set his face into something hard and angry - not so difficult when he felt so utterly miserable. "Because I'm already screwing stuff up f'r people - because what f'that thing Tomiyama's talking about is me? I'm gonna die an' I'll kill you too if you don't go the hell away."

"What?" That sounded much too absurd to Yuuta. "First of all, you're not that... whatever the fuck sensei was talking about. I'm not sure what yer thinking but yanno... it's not all about you. Secondly, like Hell you can kill me." Yuuta's eyes were narrowed as he scowled at Ryoma. Yeah, sure, the kid was pretty strong in his own right, but he wasn't an all-powerful being or anything.

Ryoma shook his head. "No - it makes sense. Who the hell else in Japan c'n even do anything psionic? I could kill you an' everyone else in the school right now without even thinking about it." And that was a thought that scared him more than he'd ever let on - because ever since he'd learned the full extent of his father's powers, he'd known it was true. "No one could stop me. You don't understand."

"Do we even know every mutant in Japan? There's definitely someone else out there. It's not you."

"You're wrong an' you know it." Ryoma narrowed his eyes; he was already synched with Yuuta, by default, and the air around him was starting to get warm. He could stop it with a thought, but he didn't care - didn't want to, maybe it would start getting the freaking point across. He was dangerous. Yuuta couldn't stay.

No matter how absolutely much Ryoma wanted him to. It would be better if he didn't.

"Look. I - just... fuck. Just go the fuck away." Shit. He was running out of arguments. Why was Yuuta still here?

Yuuta knew the air was growing warm, but it could've come from him, too; he couldn't really tell.

"Like Hell am I going away. I don't know what's up with you but you're not thinking right. What'd they do to you?"

Ryoma slid off the bed, nearly at the end of his rope. He wanted to leave - to go back to his room and slam the door behind him and lock it, but he couldn't. They'd drag him back here. And Yuuta wouldn't fucking leave. And that was only making this harder, and he couldn't crack. He wouldn't. "They didn't do anything - you're the one who's not thinking right. What - what makes you think I need you? I don't need anyone - fuck you. Get the hell out, I don't want you here anymore." Ryoma slammed the door open with a thought alone, scaring the doctor on duty. He didn't care - he was getting desperate. His stomach hurt and his eyes hurt and his head hurt and he couldn't keep lying but he had to. He had to -

Yuuta didn't realize he was holding his breath until he actually needed to breathe. "What. The. Fuck." Was he hearing things? Or was this just one big nightmare? Whatever it was, it was making him angry. His hands were clenched into fists, and heat radiated from his body as Yuuta tried not to explode in front of Echizen. "What was that? Were you trying to scare me?" he spat, referring to the door slamming like that-- doors didn't just burst open on their own. "If you don't need me you should've fucking said so earlier, you asshole!" Ryoma was throwing him away... tossing him out the window just like that, and the thought only burned an agonizing hole in his chest.

"FINE. Aniki was fucking right. You're nothing but a pile of shit, you fucking bastard. I don't know what the FUCK I saw in you," he nearly yelled, but it only came out like a strained snarl. He could barely breathe... it felt like something was crushing his chest.

"Fine." Ryoma'd meant to yell that - or at least say it loudly - but his throat was closing and as it was, it barely came out as a whisper. It was working - Yuuta hated him. That was - that was good. He blinked dumbly for a moment, forgetting that he was the one who was supposed to be angrier, he was the one who'd just told Yuuta to go the fuck away. It just... hurt. But he was so close. He just had to get Yuuta out the door and then –

"Good. Go - go away." Ryoma's voice cracked - he couldn't keep staring at Yuuta; he turned on his heel and flung himself onto the bed, covering his face with his arm and trying his best to say, "Go away," without his voice shaking. But it was.

Yuuta was going to leave-- he had enough of this fucking shit. But then he heard that voice... the way it shook and cracked and wavered and oh God, how could he have been so stupid? "You fucking stupid asshole," he growled, but noticeably softer. He sat on the bed and leaned in closer, wrapping his arms tightly around Ryoma's body.

Ryoma stiffened as arms slid around him - torn, really, because most of him really, really wanted them to stay. But part of him still knew they had to go. He shook his head, curling into a ball - even if doing so actually brought him closer to Yuuta's chest. "No - no, you have to go," he insisted, but it seemed that all the anger - it had been so manufactured anyway - was draining out of him. He couldn't do this. He... he did need this, and he couldn't have it, but he needed it anyway. "I'll just hurt you."

"Fuck. You're not going to hurt me," Yuuta breathed out, trying to control and calm himself. Any more and his clothes would be smoldering. "You're not going to hurt me," he repeated again, this time more calmly, softly, his arms tightening around Ryoma.

"But what f'I do?" Ryoma'd been asking himself that since the first time they'd kissed - well, kissed and meant it. Ever since Fuji had started saying crap about him. Ryoma hurt people - people were dead because of him. Or crazy. Or in pain. "I don't wanna hurt anyone else," he insisted - more for his own good than Yuuta's. "But it just happens."

"You won't," he insisted, adamant about his answer. He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, letting his body finally cool. Yuuta dipped down and closed his eyes, pressing lightly against the back of Ryoma's neck, kissing softly to try and comfort and soothe. "I've survived this long, haven't I?" he asked softly.

Ryoma's cause was lost - so much more of him than not wanted to stay here, to believe Yuuta, that the part of him that had tried to push him away, even if it was for his own good, was quickly being buried. He turned a little, just enough to grasp Yuuta's shirt as the skin beneath it slowly cooled - Ryoma's own skin was still too warm to be normal, but that was fading with the last of the anger. He was still worried - deeply worried - but he'd never told a bigger lie than just a moment ago when he'd just said that he hadn't needed anyone. "You didn't know me b'fore. I don't - I don't wanna be what kills everyone. I don't wanna kill anyone."

Yuuta pressed a kiss to his shoulder. "But you're better than before, aren't you? All that training sucked, yeah, but it works. You have more control; you're not gonna just randomly explode." He paused, sighing softly, pressing his forehead into his shoulder, the weight on his chest slowly lifting. "Give yourself more credit."

"I... guess so." Ryoma frowned, but... Yuuta did have a point. Maybe. He was silent a long moment, thinking. He still didn't know about these astral plane tremors - they were his fault, but... did they really mean he was going to set off whatever the disaster was? "I hope not," he finally said, arms sliding down to lock around Yuuta's waist; he tilted his head to rest his cheek against Yuuta's shoulder, lips only a few millimeter's from the other's neck. "I... don't wanna die, anymore." There had honestly been times when he'd thought about it - thought he'd wanted to, even. But he had to admit... he hadn't felt that way for a while now.

Yuuta paused, letting the words sink in. Did that mean Ryoma had wanted to before? Just the thought made his stomach churn. "You won't die. Not until you're old. And... you're definitely not gonna die like that." He then let out a soft laugh. "That'd be... really uncool."

Ryoma gave into the urge to laugh, too - maybe he was just too tired to argue anymore, but the laughter just bubbled its way out of him without his consent. "Yeah... I guess it would." He took a breath, letting the familiar scent of ash calm him further. "Hey - you... y'know I didn't mean that shit, right? That I said - I didn't...." He paused, frowning once more. He didn't like what he was about to say. But maybe it did need saying. "I don't want you t'go away. I... do need you."

Yuuta found, over the course of their relationship, that he and Ryoma were very much alike. And if it still held true, Yuuta realized it must've been very hard for Ryoma to say that. "Good," he breathed, voice and gaze softening. "Because... I need you, too."

Ryoma felt his cheeks getting warm - though maybe that was because he had been so stupid - "Fuck," he said, though it was more in self-derision than anything else. "M'really freaking stupid." He shifted again, craning his head so he could capture Yuuta's lips with his own. **Guess m'freaking lucky, too** he said, feeling more than just a little relieved that, in the end, Yuuta hadn't walked out that door. Maybe he didn't know what the hell any of this disaster stuff meant, but.. it was nice to know that he wasn't going to have to figure it out alone.

**Yeah, you are, you fucking retard,** he replied in his mind, but laughed softly into their kiss. What he said before was incredibly mushy and it might've left him a little embarrassed... but it didn't matter now. This was for real now... official, even. And with that, they could get as mushy as they wanted. **Fuck. You got me so pissed.**

Ryoma slid his arms up around Yuuta's neck, making sure he couldn't pull away - though it didn't seem like he'd want to, anyway. **... Well, that was the idea. M'just... used t’being alone. Thought it might be better.** Ryoma had learned long ago to be careful of other people - they could mess things up. Especially, he thought wanly, self-pity. But he couldn't possibly wallow in self-pity when he could be kissing Yuuta some more. He gave the other a second to breathe before diving in for a deeper kiss this time. It was the only way he really had to thank the other for... everything. **I was obviously wrong.**

**Seriously,** was all Yuuta could say; he was too busy kissing Ryoma and he'd rather be doing that than to think. He'd almost lost him somehow... in a very stupid way. But Yuuta was glad now. More than glad, almost giddy, and he couldn't help but smile into their kiss. **God, I... shit.** Words failed him, even in his mind.

Ryoma felt... something, vaguely, in the back of his mind - he'd been careful to keep mostly shielded around Yuuta, because he didn't want to just dive into the other's thoughts or feelings uninvited, but... but this didn't feel like that. This felt like the way he felt, just... coming from a different source. And it only served to make what he did feel stronger, and he just tightened his arms around the other's neck, sending a soft **Yeah** over as his stomach churned just a little, and he finally broke the kiss to breathe, pressing against Yuuta's side. He just wanted to be close. As close as possible. That was how he felt, and it wasn't going anywhere.

Yuuta had to take a moment to catch his breath and clear his head, his body tingling and warm just from that kiss. He held Ryoma tightly within his arms, but he loosened his grip slightly to shift fully into Ryoma's bed, lying on his side. Eyes closed, he smiled, taking him into his arms again. "Feeling better?" he murmured softly, stroking his cheek.

Ryoma shifted along with Yuuta, so the other could lie down comfortably. He was reluctant to do anything that might make him fall asleep, but just lying here couldn't hurt, right? He nodded, slightly, the motion of the other's fingers soothing. "... Yeah. S'just... s'been a long day." He couldn't help a bit of a dry chuckle. "An' s'only the afternoon." He slid one arm around Yuuta's waist, returning the embrace, fingers stroking against the other's shirt just a bit. "But don't you got... RA stuff t'do, or something? Not," he clarified, "that I'm tryin' t'get rid of you, this time."

He opened an eye to peer at Ryoma. "Huh... sorta sounds like it." But he smiled anyway to let him know he was only teasing. "I've got all day to do RA crap. I'd rather stay with you," he told Ryoma bluntly. And after an argument like that, who would want to leave? He wanted to make sure he still had Ryoma.

Ryoma grinned softly in return, tentatively tangling one leg with Yuuta's - just so neither of them could go anywhere, then. "Rather you stayed too," he said quietly, secretly glad that Yuuta wasn't going to leave right now, even if it would only be for a little while. He... didn't want to be alone right now, especially after... well. Being an ass like that. Still feeling guilty, he tilted his head down to press a soft kiss to Yuuta's throat - and, crap, now that he was thinking about it, he pulled the door shut with a thought as well. The doctors in medlab could mind their own business.

Yuuta noticed the door close and he smirked, tangling his fingers into Ryoma's hair. "When you watch TV, do you change the channels like that, too?" He tilted his chin up, giving Ryoma more access to his throat-- hey, it felt good.

Amidst another kiss, Ryoma snickered a bit. "... Never thought about it," he admitted, nuzzling a little farther down Yuuta's throat before kissing again. "Maybe I should." He really didn't like to use any of his father's powers so second-naturedly, but... hey, it might be worth a try. As long as he realized he was doing it.

"Lazy ass," he quipped, smirking some more. A hand slipped up Ryoma's shirt, fingers lightly caressing the small of his back. He felt more than relieved. If he'd taken the next step and actually left Ryoma... he wasn't sure what he would've done. He'd almost lost him, and he probably would've hated him-- something that his boyfriend didn't deserve. Yuuta sighed softly, pressing a kiss atop his head. "How long you need to stay up for?" he asked after a moment.

Ryoma sighed, as much from the way Yuuta's fingers felt nice as from the fact that he didn't really know the answer to that question. "I dunno... I guess 'till they c'n figure out a way to stop it, I should stop takin' so many naps," he reasoned - the doctors were probably working on a way to let him sleep without disrupting the astral plane... but until then, he privately wanted to stay awake as much as possible - why make things worse for everyone when all it would do to him was make him a bit fatigued? He could handle that; he pressed another kiss to Yuuta's jaw this time, before resting his forehead just beneath it. "Helps t'have company."

"I'll be the annoying dripping faucet that'll keep you awake?" Yuuta suggested, giving him a poke to show that he could, indeed, be quite annoying.

Ryoma snickered just a little. "Yeah, you do that," he said, but really, it wasn't so annoying at all, having Yuuta hang around for a while. Well, not yet anyway. "S'better than doing homework." He glanced up, giving the other a small grin. "Guess I'd appreciate it, then." He shifted a bit, still comfortable, but not so much so that he was going to fall asleep. "S'long as you wanna stay."