RP log: Kippei and Shinji

[kementur.livejournal.com]

Date: Sep 16th, after the mission assignments are posted
Rating: PG
Summary: Kippei is not very happy about Shinji's assignment


Shinji was worried, but he didn't want Kippei to think he didn't trust him, or think he was more than capable of taking care of himself. He did think Kippei was superman, or close to it, but at the same time they were being separated and he was pretty sure that had never happened before. He didn't like it at all; hated the thought of Kippei going off to do something dangerous without him. He was also a little jealous. Kippei got the fun mission, after all. Sighing, he flopped down on the bed and poked Kii, wondering if maybe the cat had any answers, only it didn't.

Kippei did not at all like the mission assignments. His own, yes, that was fantastic and any other time he would have been delighted with it. Well, even this time he was, but it was irrelevant next to how manifestly unhappy he was about Shinji's. He didn't like that they had been split up. It hadn't occurred to him that they would be, and he hated it. It was good that Shinji's mission didn't sound all that dangerous, but the fact remained that he didn't remember anything about what he was doing, and he was barely half trained, and Kippei just felt generally growly about the whole thing. Growly enough to start pacing out his worry across the floor of their room as he fumed to himself about it.

Kippei was angry. Shinji could feel it everywhere, all around him, pressing in on him and worming it's way into his brain. Even Kii was hiding under the blanket, Shinji unable to keep the anger to himself, projecting it back out and into the poor cat. He moved so he could watch Kippei pacing, stormy eyes following Kippei back and forth across the length of the room until he just couldn't take it any more.

"Kippei?"

Kippei stopped growling just long enough to glance over at him, slightly questioning. Shinji didn't seem nearly as worried about all this as he should be. Though he looked a bit upset now, probably because Kippei was. With a sigh he stopped moving, facing Shinji with a patiently raised eyebrow, waiting.

"Yeah?" It came out a bit more aggressively than he meant it to, and he winced. "Sorry," he muttered, coming over to Shinji's bed and throwing himself down in a disgruntled sprawl.

Okay, he had Kippei on the bed at least. Shinji moved to sit near his head, reaching out to stroke his cheek, face turning stern.

"Alright. No rushing in to save the day. No making buildings fall on top of you; be at least a hundred meters away. Always have an escape route in sight. And don't you dare go anywhere near a gun!"

Kippei blinked and stared at him, utterly bemused. Shinji was warning him about the dangers? He shook his head, incredulous, and almost laughed; Shinji looked so serious and determined. But whoa, wait, what about a gun? Shinji wasn't supposed to know anything about that.

"...What?" he asked cautiously.

"Guns are dangerous! I saw them in a movie last night. This guy only had to shoot people once and they were dead, just like that! It was freaky and made my heart beat really fast. I don't like guns at all, so don't you dare go near guns." Kippei actually looks nervous and Shinji tilted his head, curious and a little hesitant. "Have you been near guns before?"

Kippei relaxed, relieved. Shinji didn't know, and Kippei wasn't about to tell him. "Don't worry about it," he told Shinji, grinning a little. "I've got a few tricks, I'll be fine." Though it was unlikely they'd be facing guns on their mission--if anything, it would be Cure guns, not bullets. "I doubt we'll see any, but if we do, I'll be very careful, you bet." The last thing he wanted was to get shot and have Shinji freaking out on him while Kippei was in no shape to take care of him.

"Good," Shinji sighed, not really relieved but not terrified either. Kippei was superman; he would be fine. Surely. He wrapped himself around Kippei suddenly, as if he could protect him from the whole world just by shielding him from it.

"I never want you to get hurt."

Kippei hugged him tightly, kissing the top of his head and frowning slightly again. "I never want you to get hurt, either," he murmured. And if there was a possibility of it happening, then he wanted to be there. How could they have been split up? It was stupid. Someone hadn't been paying attention, someone should know better than to send Shinji off without him when he wasn't a hundred percent. Kippei just didn't know how to handle this, at all.

"Are you okay?" Shinji asked in a small voice. Kippei only held that tight when he was having a hard time with something and that frown didn't suit him...well, it did, but Shinji liked Kippei's smile more. "You look...worried." And if Kippei was worried it was probably about something bad.

"I'm fine," Kippei said a little impatiently, shrugging irritably and curling himself around Shinji more tightly. Of course he was worried. Duh. "What the hell are they thinking?" he muttered to himself. "You're not done with training yet, not nearly back up to speed, and they're sending you out by yourself," or effectively so, since Kippei considered him to be alone if Kippei wasn't with him. It was just not good, not good at all.

Shinji snorted, a little annoyed that Kippei apparently thought him completely incapable.

"I'll be useful," he objected around a dark frown. "And I am not going by myself, I'm going with Shishido, who used to be on our team, right? And Bolt? Though he sometimes acts a bit weird around me I think...but that's not by myself! And I'm not done with training, but I can still use my powers! I asked to be put on the list, so it's okay. I want to do it."

"I didn't say you wouldn't be useful," Kippei countered, still frowning. "You'll be plenty of use, it's just dangerous. Wings and Bolt are nice enough, but not the brightest crayons ever and you won't have me." That was the most important part, really. Kippei knew Shinji had asked and wanted to, but he had assumed, surely, that they would be assigned to the same mission. That they were not just boggled him completely. "We're supposed to be together," he muttered unhappily.

Shinji was starting to realise he had probably never done anything, that Kippei was aware of, without Kippei. Partners in and out of the field. He wasn't sure what to make of that so he just blinked and let Kippei hold on as tight as he wanted without whining about it. It wasn't like he minded anyway; Kippei was the ground. Solid. Perfect. Superman.

"I promise I'll stay with you right here for a whole week after."

Kippei snorted. "Damn right you will," he retorted, because Kippei was so not letting him out of his sight if they both came back safe. But that didn't make him any happier about letting Shinji go in the first place. "You better not get hurt or I will have to kill somebody." Or at least severely injure them; if they were teammates he couldn't kill them.

"I won't get hurt. My missions all secret stuff, remember? No one will even know I was there, I promise." He could at least make sure of that. He smiled though, looking forward to a whole week locked in their room with just Kippei and Kii and yeah, that would be fun. Like a secret sleepover. He grinned and kissed the corner of Kippei's mouth.

"Can I sleep in your bed?"

Kippei sighed, his arms tightening possessively around Shinji as he kissed him back hard. "You can, but you better know what you're doing. You sleep with me and I will not be sleeping. I very much doubt that you will, either." Shinji really didn't seem to get what a walking temptation he was, and here he was suggesting sleeping in Kippei's bed for a week? Was he insane?

Oh yeah...that. Shinji frowned, not sure what to think about that. On one hand, he wanted to try it. It looked messy and horrible and he just couldn't see what people liked about it...so he was damn curious. On the other hand it was sort of annoying that he couldn't even sleep in Kippei's bed without him wanting to do that. But Kippei just missed it, pretty severly, and Shinji couldn't blame him for that.

"...Maybe I'll try it for a night and if it's okay, then I can stay there more."

Kippei snorted. "You know what, I'm going to get you that book first." Shinji really really so just did not get it. Kippei made a mental note to go to the bookstore like, tomorrow. Shinji had no idea what he was getting himself into, and he kept pushing without even meaning to, and Kippei really only had so much self control. He was good, but he wasn't that good. And he did miss it severely, painfully. It wasn't only about lust, nor even mainly. It was like... the last loose end, still drifting, from the slow reconnection they'd been doing since that dreadful rending when Shinji had woken up without his memory. It was the last severed link, still aching with the pain of being so abruptly torn.

"Hey yeah...you have to get it tomorrow, because my mission is that night, so I want to read it." He nodded as if it was all worked out and then contemplated what it would be like to sleep in bed with Kippei. He didn't think Kippei would wear pajamas just because Shinji decided to get in the bed with him...quite the opposite really. He reached out and stroked Kippei's cheek, feeling bad at the need and want in Kippei.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Kippei told him, wrapping him up in a warm hug and nuzzling his hair. "It is." Or it would be, until Shinji was ready, Kippei told himself sternly. He couldn't rush something so important, wouldn't risk messing it up for the both of them. He wanted Shinji to love it, to want it as much as he did. He could tell himself that once Shinji experienced it, that would just happen, but he couldn't be sure of that and he didn't want to take chances. Never with Shinji.

It was okay, in a weird sort of way only Kippei could convince him of. Shinji smiled and nuzzled into Kippei, enjoying the hug and the scent and god, his whole body was so obsessed with Kippei, it was demented. His head knew nothing about any of it, but his reflexes were completely in Kippei's control. It made him laugh a little, feeling out of control but not really caring.

"Did you always love me? How the hell did we meet anyway? I want to know how you met Shinji."

Kippei sighed, resting his cheek on top of Shinji's head and thinking about it. All the little things that Shinji didn't know anymore. It made his heart ache a little, but they were good memories. He smiled faintly as he remembered. "I met you here, you were in my class, rather randomly. I noticed your hair first--I wanted to touch it. And you were light, and you were having gravity issues that day. I wanted to make you float. I stayed behind after class to talk to you, and something just... clicked. You felt... I don't know, I can't explain it. You just fit somewhere that no one else ever had. We cut a class, I think, and went somewhere to talk for awhile and we started dating pretty soon after that. You were gorgeous and fascinating and I'd never seen anything like you. When I first realised I was in love with you... I was terrified. Because I needed you so much, and I'd never needed anyone before."

Yeah, that was like Kippei. Terrified about needing, but not wanting. Cute as all hell, but fierce at the same time. And trust Kippei to have noticed him having trouble with gravity. He must have had a headache and been distracted by people and not able to walk straight. He still had days like that, but not often. Not when he was with Kippei. It made him smile. Kippei must have fixed the other Shinji too, in the same way the other Shinji had fixed Kippei.

"My hair?" He pulled a bit forward and stared at it, understanding a little now why Kippei had been so snarky about him dyeing it black. It was as much a part of them as he was. "Do I still fit?"

"You always fit," Kippei told him, suddenly overwhelmed with a rush of feeling that couldn't be put into words, how exactly Shinji fit. He kissed Shinji's hair and his forehead and tilted his face up to kiss him reverently on the lips, full nearly to bursting with love and affection and the sheer rightness of it all. "You fit right here," he whispered against Shinji's lips, arms tightening around him and snuggling him close.

How could anyone ever doubt that? Shinji couldn't. All he knew was Kippei and he didn't care to know anything else. He smiled and wrapped his arms around Kippei, hugging him back hard and happy, kissing his throat.

"I can feel it," Shinji mumbled. "Your thoughts...I can feel them. I don't feel anyone else's thoughts, because they're not mine."

Kippei just smiled and held him closer, feeling absolutely content. "My thoughts are yours?" he asked idly, curious about the expression. He didn't remember Shinji ever saying it that way before, and wasn't quite sure what he meant by it. Of course, everything about him was Shinji's, no question. It was slightly odd, though, Shinji saying he could feel them. What the hell did that mean?

"Even if I don't know what they mean...you think what I do. I can't tell sometimes if it's you thinking or if it's me, but I think it's me mostly because you don't think much at all. But when you think something the same as me, I feel it the same way...I like it. I wish I could feel everything you think, all the time." Kippei's feelings were, he felt, much cooler than his own.

Kippei chuckled and kissed him again. Shinji's 'explanation', as they so often did, was not much more intelligible to him than the original statement, but he would take Shinji's word for it. "You feel the same as I do," he suggested, mostly hoping that he was right.

"....isn't that what I said?" Shinji frowned, wondering why Kippei had trouble understanding it the first two times. Maybe he was just making fun of him? Whatever. He snuggled further into Kippei's lap, knocking them both backward into the pillows and nibbling on his ear. Kippei had cute ears.

"I'm really happy you taught me what kissing was. It wouldn't be the same if someone else taught me."

"I should fucking hope not," Kippei growled, slightly offended by the idea that kissing anyone else would be anywhere near as good. He knew Shinji hadn't meant that, but he didn't like the idea anyway. He didn't want Shinji kissing anyone else, ever. Not that he would, now, but the fact that he might have, once, bothered him more than it probably should have. Whatever. Shinji was totally completely his now, so it was all good.

Shinji blinked and stared at Kippei. Totally and completely his. It was weirdly...true. Was that normal? When he was 'born' there was Kippei, and when he was 'growing up' there was Kippei and now, he liked to think he was 'grown up' and there was Kippei. He was the only thing, only person! who had been there all along.

"You're home." And he felt that went both ways.

"Yeah," Kippei agreed, softening and smiling at him, reaching up to push his hair back, stroking his cheek. "Yeah you are. We are home, together." The only place the two of them really fit, really belonged, was with each other. Right here. Anywhere, really--the place didn't matter, as long as it was them.

Shinji wanted to say see! We feel the same, but he figured Kippei got the idea so he just smiled and nodded and shifted around, pushing back the sheets on Kippei's bed and crawling in under the blankets, curling up around Kippei.

"Just for a little while? I just want to stay in your bed for a little while, just like this. Can I?"

Kippei sighed, but didn't have the heart to tell him no. It couldn't hurt for just a little while, anyway. He pushed the ache to the back of his mind again, pulling Shinji closer and reveling in the warmth of just having Shinji held securely in his arms. Sometimes, he almost thought this was all he needed. Sometimes it was very nearly enough.