Log Ohtori and Shishido
Feb. 4th, 2006 12:40 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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tenipuri_xpDate: a few hours after this log
Rating: PG
Summary: Shishido can't return Ohtori's love and goes on to tell him why breaking Ohtori's heart in the process.
He was enjoying the sense of security that came with sleeping besides the other mutant. It was warm, dark and peaceful. Ohtori yawned and first looked to the side to see the alarm clock and determine the time. He'd only been asleep a few hours after…blushing, he rolled over and slowly reached out to touch the other and make sure he hadn't been just dreaming about things. He knew Shishido was probably still awake, it was still really late at night after all. Patting the blanket mound beside him, he frowned and sat up slowly, he was alone in the other teen's bed.
Letting his eyes adjust to the dark, he finally spotted the other's silhouette at the window. He smiled until he realized the shadow's wings were ruffling almost violently, a good sign that the other was upset about something. "Shishido-san?"
“Huh?” Shishido said automatically, looking over to the source of the voice. He belatedly realised that Ohtori was the one who had called for him and that eve if Ohtori couldn’t see perfectly in the dark, there was no way the other teen could miss the ruffled wings or distracted movements. Trying to pull his thoughts away from what was troubling, he forced a strained smile onto his face. “It’s still early, go back to sleep, ok?” He encouraged, looking a moment longer at Ohtori’s lean naked chest and the way the blanket pooled around his waist before turning to look back out the window.
Looking at him, a little bothered that he couldn't see his face or read any emotions on his face at all. Leaning against the headboard, he frowned faintly and looked almost confused. "It is, but are you okay? Do you want to come back to bed?" That question made him wrinkle his nose though, that sounded way too married couple for even his taste right now, considering they were just a couple of teenaged boys.
The questions made Shishido’s wings ruffle further, but he vowed to not take his frustrations and confusion out on Ohtori. It was more then likely he’d end up breaking the kid’s heart anyway when he told him he couldn’t return his love and the should probably stop seeing each other. But there was no reason that Ohtori shouldn’t get a good night’s sleep before that. “Just go back to sleep Ohtori. I’ll be here in the morning.”
There was something- almost a hollow quality in the other's voice. Eyes widening slightly, he managed to find his shirt at least and pull it on, the room too cold to be bare like that if he was going to be alone in bed. "Something's wrong." He managed, moving from the blankets carefully and setting his bare feet on the cold floor, letting a shiver ride up his spine.
At the sound of movement, Shishido turned from the window and saw Ohtori crawling out of bed and coming towards him. He let out a sigh and wrapped his badly ruffled wings around him. “It’s nothing. Just go back to bed Ohtori.” He asked one more time, knowing already that it was pointless.
Finding his socks in the process, he pondered putting them on before just balling them in his hand. "Please- if something is wrong…" Maybe in spite of all of Shishido's talk of taking things slow for him, he thought they'd gone too far? "I don't want you to be upset. Just tell me what it is?"
Shishido let his head rest against the cool window, not even noticing or caring that rest of his body was covered in goosebumps from only being dressed in his boxers. How the hell was he supposed to tell someone he just jerked off and masturbated in front of, and then showered with that he could never return their feelings? “You said something before you fell asleep…” He started off with instead, “Do you remember it?”
Most of last night was a blur, just heated bits of memories. Frowning slightly, he tried to remember. He had said goodnight, right? That it was great, and Shishido was beautiful? Maybe he was being too clingy. Or- Suddenly he remembered it, he'd told Shishido he loved him. "Y-yeah, I remember. Why?" There was a pit growing in his stomach, and his throat seemed to be trying to constrict. There was nothing to be nervous about.
“Well it’s just… I wasn’t expecting it.” Shishido started honestly, still talking to the window, not daring to look at the other’s undoubtedly hurt expression. “And… I don’t think I can return it.” There that was more or less honest.
He was more confused than hurt at this point and time, "I-I know it was sudden and I wasn't expecting it back any time soon." He reached out slowly and gently touched the other's wing cocoon with his fingertips. "But I meant it."
“Shit Ohtori, do you have to be so understanding?” He asked jumping a bit at the hand on his feathers causing him to bash his head off the window. “Ow.” He yelped jerking back again and holding his head, his wings fanning out and hitting Ohtori unintentionally before wrapping back around him in a protective way. “You don’t get it though.” He said after a few seconds when he regained his composure. “I’m not sure I can ever love you.” He snuck a peak over at Ohtori’s face and immediately went back to looking out his window.
Staring at him, jaw slightly open he had to back off as heavy wings hit him, and knocked him back off of balance. Regaining it and wiping at his jaw, which itched from the brush of feathers, he frowned. He wanted to ask the other if his head was okay, but then that? "N-never?" He thought his heart was going to claw out of his chest, and found one hand there to try and hold it back. "I mean- why?"
Shishido hung his head, it was like he could hear the other’s heart breaking from where he was and he hated it. But it wouldn’t be right to lie to Ohtori or pretend that one day he could love him. “Look,” He started, shifting so he could see Ohtori’s reflection in the glass of the window. “I like being with you a lot, but you’re still a guy. And for some reason I can’t see myself growing up and getting married to a guy.” He rambled on not giving Ohtori a chance to interrupt. “I’m not gay, I’m bisexual. And even if my parents seem cool with the idea of me dating a guy I know they’d still want me to marry a girl, and I sort of do too. You know, have a kid one day and all that too.”
Shishido looked over at Ohtori to see if he was keeping up with him and swiftly went back to talking to the window. This was one of those times when he wished he couldn’t see perfectly in the dark. Those big brown eyes would haunt him now. “And while I like you a lot, I can’t love you. I can’t carelessly throw my love around, because if I love someone it’s going to be the forever and ever until we die type of love. Do you see why I can’t love you back now?” He asked, hoping that Ohtori would just get upset and leave him to his thoughts.
Wish granted, Ohtori dropped his head and sighed deeply. "I-I see. Alright…well, I should be going." He grabbed his pants quickly from nearby and looked at Shishido's back. I know how unrequited love is…and….Ihopeyoufindsomeonegoodenough." Breaking down and starting to cry, he hurried out the door, letting it slam shut on its own as he hurried to his room. He had to be alone, now.
Letting out the breath Shishido hadn’t realised he was holding, he slumped against the window and closed his eyes. He was an asshole, but it was better to hurt Ohtori now then to lead him on. Though he wish Ohtori would have stayed long enough to tell him that he was more than good enough, it was him who was the jerk.
Staring out the window, Shishido eventually noticed a tear running down the side of his face and hastily wiped it away with a grumble. There was a no reason to cry, yeah, he had liked Ohtori quite a bit, but it wasn’t love. They’d both get over it in time.
Wiping away another tear, Shishido bumped his head against the window pane on purpose. Well it wouldn’t do any harm to test his theory out. And if it proved right, he’d know he’d done the right thing and they could both move on with their lives.
Finally noticing the cold, Shishido pulled himself away from the window and moved towards the bed. But remembering what had happened on it only a few hours ago made him turn towards the couch instead. He could bundle up there instead. Grabbing the orange blanket Oshitari had given him, he perched on the couch and went back to his thoughts.
Rating: PG
Summary: Shishido can't return Ohtori's love and goes on to tell him why breaking Ohtori's heart in the process.
He was enjoying the sense of security that came with sleeping besides the other mutant. It was warm, dark and peaceful. Ohtori yawned and first looked to the side to see the alarm clock and determine the time. He'd only been asleep a few hours after…blushing, he rolled over and slowly reached out to touch the other and make sure he hadn't been just dreaming about things. He knew Shishido was probably still awake, it was still really late at night after all. Patting the blanket mound beside him, he frowned and sat up slowly, he was alone in the other teen's bed.
Letting his eyes adjust to the dark, he finally spotted the other's silhouette at the window. He smiled until he realized the shadow's wings were ruffling almost violently, a good sign that the other was upset about something. "Shishido-san?"
“Huh?” Shishido said automatically, looking over to the source of the voice. He belatedly realised that Ohtori was the one who had called for him and that eve if Ohtori couldn’t see perfectly in the dark, there was no way the other teen could miss the ruffled wings or distracted movements. Trying to pull his thoughts away from what was troubling, he forced a strained smile onto his face. “It’s still early, go back to sleep, ok?” He encouraged, looking a moment longer at Ohtori’s lean naked chest and the way the blanket pooled around his waist before turning to look back out the window.
Looking at him, a little bothered that he couldn't see his face or read any emotions on his face at all. Leaning against the headboard, he frowned faintly and looked almost confused. "It is, but are you okay? Do you want to come back to bed?" That question made him wrinkle his nose though, that sounded way too married couple for even his taste right now, considering they were just a couple of teenaged boys.
The questions made Shishido’s wings ruffle further, but he vowed to not take his frustrations and confusion out on Ohtori. It was more then likely he’d end up breaking the kid’s heart anyway when he told him he couldn’t return his love and the should probably stop seeing each other. But there was no reason that Ohtori shouldn’t get a good night’s sleep before that. “Just go back to sleep Ohtori. I’ll be here in the morning.”
There was something- almost a hollow quality in the other's voice. Eyes widening slightly, he managed to find his shirt at least and pull it on, the room too cold to be bare like that if he was going to be alone in bed. "Something's wrong." He managed, moving from the blankets carefully and setting his bare feet on the cold floor, letting a shiver ride up his spine.
At the sound of movement, Shishido turned from the window and saw Ohtori crawling out of bed and coming towards him. He let out a sigh and wrapped his badly ruffled wings around him. “It’s nothing. Just go back to bed Ohtori.” He asked one more time, knowing already that it was pointless.
Finding his socks in the process, he pondered putting them on before just balling them in his hand. "Please- if something is wrong…" Maybe in spite of all of Shishido's talk of taking things slow for him, he thought they'd gone too far? "I don't want you to be upset. Just tell me what it is?"
Shishido let his head rest against the cool window, not even noticing or caring that rest of his body was covered in goosebumps from only being dressed in his boxers. How the hell was he supposed to tell someone he just jerked off and masturbated in front of, and then showered with that he could never return their feelings? “You said something before you fell asleep…” He started off with instead, “Do you remember it?”
Most of last night was a blur, just heated bits of memories. Frowning slightly, he tried to remember. He had said goodnight, right? That it was great, and Shishido was beautiful? Maybe he was being too clingy. Or- Suddenly he remembered it, he'd told Shishido he loved him. "Y-yeah, I remember. Why?" There was a pit growing in his stomach, and his throat seemed to be trying to constrict. There was nothing to be nervous about.
“Well it’s just… I wasn’t expecting it.” Shishido started honestly, still talking to the window, not daring to look at the other’s undoubtedly hurt expression. “And… I don’t think I can return it.” There that was more or less honest.
He was more confused than hurt at this point and time, "I-I know it was sudden and I wasn't expecting it back any time soon." He reached out slowly and gently touched the other's wing cocoon with his fingertips. "But I meant it."
“Shit Ohtori, do you have to be so understanding?” He asked jumping a bit at the hand on his feathers causing him to bash his head off the window. “Ow.” He yelped jerking back again and holding his head, his wings fanning out and hitting Ohtori unintentionally before wrapping back around him in a protective way. “You don’t get it though.” He said after a few seconds when he regained his composure. “I’m not sure I can ever love you.” He snuck a peak over at Ohtori’s face and immediately went back to looking out his window.
Staring at him, jaw slightly open he had to back off as heavy wings hit him, and knocked him back off of balance. Regaining it and wiping at his jaw, which itched from the brush of feathers, he frowned. He wanted to ask the other if his head was okay, but then that? "N-never?" He thought his heart was going to claw out of his chest, and found one hand there to try and hold it back. "I mean- why?"
Shishido hung his head, it was like he could hear the other’s heart breaking from where he was and he hated it. But it wouldn’t be right to lie to Ohtori or pretend that one day he could love him. “Look,” He started, shifting so he could see Ohtori’s reflection in the glass of the window. “I like being with you a lot, but you’re still a guy. And for some reason I can’t see myself growing up and getting married to a guy.” He rambled on not giving Ohtori a chance to interrupt. “I’m not gay, I’m bisexual. And even if my parents seem cool with the idea of me dating a guy I know they’d still want me to marry a girl, and I sort of do too. You know, have a kid one day and all that too.”
Shishido looked over at Ohtori to see if he was keeping up with him and swiftly went back to talking to the window. This was one of those times when he wished he couldn’t see perfectly in the dark. Those big brown eyes would haunt him now. “And while I like you a lot, I can’t love you. I can’t carelessly throw my love around, because if I love someone it’s going to be the forever and ever until we die type of love. Do you see why I can’t love you back now?” He asked, hoping that Ohtori would just get upset and leave him to his thoughts.
Wish granted, Ohtori dropped his head and sighed deeply. "I-I see. Alright…well, I should be going." He grabbed his pants quickly from nearby and looked at Shishido's back. I know how unrequited love is…and….Ihopeyoufindsomeonegoodenough." Breaking down and starting to cry, he hurried out the door, letting it slam shut on its own as he hurried to his room. He had to be alone, now.
Letting out the breath Shishido hadn’t realised he was holding, he slumped against the window and closed his eyes. He was an asshole, but it was better to hurt Ohtori now then to lead him on. Though he wish Ohtori would have stayed long enough to tell him that he was more than good enough, it was him who was the jerk.
Staring out the window, Shishido eventually noticed a tear running down the side of his face and hastily wiped it away with a grumble. There was a no reason to cry, yeah, he had liked Ohtori quite a bit, but it wasn’t love. They’d both get over it in time.
Wiping away another tear, Shishido bumped his head against the window pane on purpose. Well it wouldn’t do any harm to test his theory out. And if it proved right, he’d know he’d done the right thing and they could both move on with their lives.
Finally noticing the cold, Shishido pulled himself away from the window and moved towards the bed. But remembering what had happened on it only a few hours ago made him turn towards the couch instead. He could bundle up there instead. Grabbing the orange blanket Oshitari had given him, he perched on the couch and went back to his thoughts.
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