rp log Kaidoh/Ohtori
Oct. 29th, 2005 12:15 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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tenipuri_xpRating: R (there be some pretty heavy petting~)
Dated: Last night and this morning.
Summary: We all knew it was coming, nothing good lasts forever.
Kaidoh led the way back onto campus, refusing to let Ohtori's hand go even as they traversed the hallways back to their room. They'd just been out for a while - dinner and a movie, but things felt markedly different when Kaidoh didn't have to hide under his hood like he used to. He really liked the image inducer - he knew it was only an illusion, but just the chance to look normal again, even for a little while, was something he'd never expected to have ever again.
It wasn't that late, he realized, unlocking their door to let them in again, crouching and greeting Neko once the door was shut behind them. He glanced up at Ohtori, still petting the small fuzzy head beneath his hand. "That was fun," he said, smiling a bit. "You tired?" Ohtori had seemed tired more often than not lately, and had taken to sleeping early and often. Kaidoh was a bit worried, but there didn't seem to be much he could do other than let his boyfriend sleep when he needed.
The date had been wonderful, Ohtori had to admit. They were only receiving stares that were to be expected towards two teenaged boys walking along, holding hands. Nothing else, Kaidoh seemed so much happier with his image inducer on. They could both come and go as they wanted now, it was almost like being normal again. Shaking the sad thought of never being normal from his mind, he grinned as they entered their room, moving to their bed to relax.
Glancing up, he smiled. “No, I’m not very tired right now. It’s still pretty early.” Leaning back on his elbows, he eyed the gauntlets, feeling a bit guilty about removing them for their date. He’d just have to put them back on in the morning. Looking warmly at his boyfriend, he smiled more. Things are the way they are supposed to be for a reason. It isn’t love. But he’s happy. He’s happy….I am too, right? Yeah- it’s supposed to be like this. Then why was there a sharp twisting pain in his chest right now? “Did you want to watch a film or something else?”
"Um… sure, that's fine," Kaidoh said, standing and cradling Neko to his chest - carefully, still - even if he looked normal right now, he was still sharp underneath the hologram. He sat on the edge of the bed, still petting the cat. "What do you want to watch? Just something random? I think you're the one with most of the movies - I didn't have very many to begin with." He glanced at Ohtori as he spoke - the other didn't look necessarily tired, so he supposed he must be doing all right today.
“Random is good.” Ohtori shuffled through his drawer and pulled out a DVD. He packed light when he moved to this school, so his collection was limited too. Putting the disk into the player, he scooted backwards on the bedding until he was leaning against the headboard. Patting the spot beside him, he looked warmly at his boyfriend and smiled. “Is a comedy ok?”
"Yeah, that's fine." Kaidoh really wasn't too picky about movies; he let Neko go and moved to the head of the bed, leaning against the headboard beside Ohtori, careful not to scratch him. It was funny - even if he couldn't see the bones, he still knew exactly where they were - and he hoped he was getting better at keeping them away from the other's skin. He tentatively entwined their arms and took Ohtori's hand, hoping the other wouldn't mind (why should he? But Kaidoh was always nervous, just the same) and glancing over for approval as the movie began.
Leaning carefully against his boyfriend, he watched the first few moments of the movie with muted attention, most of his mind inside, fighting with the doubts he’d been hiding so skillfully the last week or so. It isn’t fair to not love him. But- I don’t want to hurt him later…he’d be happier knowing, right? Or hate me forever…I don’t want him hating me… He blinked as his hand was grasped and smiled faintly, kissing Kaidoh’s cheek before moving to the image inducer and turning it off. He still couldn’t tell where the spikes were by memory alone.
Kaidoh blinked as something flickered - then realized that Ohtori had just turned off the image inducer. "Oh - ah, sorry," he apologized sheepishly, realizing that just because he could tell where the sharp parts of him were didn't mean that Ohtori could. "I was trying not to scrape you," he offered. "Guess this's better though." He still didn't really understand how anyone could stand to look at him without the image inducer - despite how many of the younger students had told him he looked "cool" with bones sticking out of his skin, he still wished they just… weren't there.
“It’s okay. Just easier to do this.” Ohtori laughed slightly and leaned closer, tangling one leg over Kaidoh’s as they had started to do when they actually did sleep at the same time. Smiling, he rested a hand over the other’s chest and rested a cheek on his chest. “Much better.” Sure Kaidoh was attractive without the bones, hell, even hot. Ohtori was used to his boyfriend with the bones, that wasn’t what mattered to him. Unless I am really just becoming shallow.... I would never be that superficial. But it didn’t ease that miserable feeling that this could never last.
"If you think so," Kaidoh admitted, bringing his other hand up to stroke Ohtori's hair softly - just like he'd pet Neko (and he'd told Ohtori often enough that he really was just a big cat at heart, with the way the tall boy acted). "Glad you're feeling better today - you seemed really tired lately." He settled back a little, leaning a little to the side so he wouldn't ruin the headboard. That was the last thing they needed - he didn't want to move, not with Ohtori leaning against him, keeping his side pleasantly warm.
“I do.” He smiled and kisses along his jawline. Maybe they just weren’t close enough? He was about to comment on it when his hair was touched. Closing his eyes and all but purring, he snuggled closer, narrowly missing a few spikes. He’d become very talented in dodging them. “I have been-“ Shifting closer still, he smiled shyly and raked his fingers gently down the other’s abdomen, soothingly.
"Mmmm - um," Kaidoh blinked; that felt… really nice. He leaned down and kissed Ohtori's forehead gently, feeling a blush spring up into his cheeks and trying to ignore it. "Yeah… think your power'll calm down soon and give you a break?" Maybe that was why Ohtori had seemed a bit off this week - he'd told Kaidoh his power was… well, in effect, draining him, leaving him with no energy of his own sometimes. The fact that there was absolutely nothing Kaidoh could do about this only made him worry more. Slipping a few fingers through Ohtori's hair, he squeezed the hand holding his.
Blushing at that pleased sound, he blinked and leaned over Kaidoh with his hands on both sides of his boyfriend’s shoulders. “Uhm Kaoru-kun…I was wondering. W-would you like it….of we uhm- maybe…did more than just kissing?” He winced, it sounded so dumb when he said it like that!
Kaidoh blinked again - then felt his cheeks grow even hotter. "Uhm. M-more than…" Okay. Fine. He'd occasionally… though about what it might be like to do… more, but - it had always seemed so impossible. What if he hurt Ohtori-kun really badly? And the other had always seemed… well, at least as shy about it as Kaidoh felt. "Do… do you want to?" He finally managed to get out, looking at Ohtori-kun and wondering what had brought this on. Half of him certainly didn't mind in the least. But the other half of him was mortified at the thought of even trying to do anything Ohtori didn't want. His cheeks must be beet red by now…
Looking down at him again seriously, he cocked his head. “I asked you first.” He could admit to being a hormonal teen, easily. It happened, and sometimes he just wanted to feel closer. Maybe that was entirely the problem with the relationship. Maybe this would ease his own doubts of whether or not they really did belong together.
"Um." Kaidoh glanced down a minute, thinking frantically. He… might as well be truthful, right? That was what relationships were based on, right? He looked up, trying not to blush more. "I… I wouldn't mind, no," he said slowly, kissing Ohtori's cheek lightly. "I… yeah, I'd like it. But not - I don't want to hurt you," he said quickly, glancing down worriedly. "And n-not if you didn't want to."
Smiling as he was more or less given the go ahead, he leaned down carefully to kiss him deeply and nip at his lower lip. Maybe this would make it all make sense. “You won’t hurt me, don’t let me hurt you?” With that, he put his weight on the other a little more and tangled a hand into the bottom of his shirt. “I-I’d like to try.” His other hand moved to stroke his collarbone. He’d never done this before, so it was all going to be a test.
Kaidoh just took a deep breath, nodding. If Ohtori really wanted to try… well, his body was definitely telling him to give it a try too. "You can't hurt me," he insisted. "Healing factor, anyway." He offered a small smile, wrapping his arms loosely around Ohtori's waist. "Do… whatever you want," he said, eyes sliding shut a moment as fingers stroked his collarbone, feeling the warmth in his cheeks refuse to recede, moving his hands slightly to brush the other's back through his shirt. It hardly seemed fair if this was all one-sided...
Blushing, he shifted and felt his skin rising to the touch through his shirt. “Mhm….ok…you can uhm- do whatever too…okay?” He wondered if healing factors pertained to the heart before adjusting so he could lick at his neck, dotting the pulse points with light kisses and trying to think of where he could go next. There were so many places- but he wasn’t sure how to do this. Somewhere in the background the movie played on.
Kaidoh could only nod carefully, afraid to open his mouth for fear of what might come out. Trying to concentrate on what Ohtori might like, he shyly slipped his fingers beneath the other's shirt and traced a few vertebrae with cautious fingertips. Ohtori's lips were very warm, and vaguely he remembered that they'd been watching a movie but that really didn't seem to matter at all now.
Blushing and pressing closer to Kaidoh, he was panting heavily on his collarbone, and trying not to drop on the other boy, no matter what. Each touch under his shirt made his arms shake a little more. Wanting to sharing that feeling, he slipped his fingers under Kaidoh’s shirt a little and left fleeting feather touches on his smooth, warm belly. “I-is this ok?”
"A-ah… yeah, s'fine," Kaidoh said, trying to stay still - Ohtori's fingers tickled, but in a good way - the only other people who'd ever really touched him were doctors, and they just… well. That definitely didn't feel the same. He dug his fingers into Ohtori's back a little - still careful not to scratch him - taking a few deep breaths himself and pressing his thumbs into the small of Ohtori's back, massaging.
“Mmm…” Ohtori purred out, moaning slightly under his breath. Moving his fingers up higher under his shirt, tracing the muscles. Nipping at his collarbone, he blinked slightly. That was supposed to feel good too, right? Biting a little harder, he chuckled against the slick skin.
And it did feel good. Kaidoh bit his lip to keep from making any sounds, but he definitely liked that. A lot. That didn't feel like anything he'd ever felt before. He dug his thumbs in a little harder before letting go, worried he would bruise the other, and settled for bringing his hands around to Ohtori's sides, running fingers lightly up and down them beneath his shirt. He leaned down and kissed silver hair quickly, tangling their legs a little more.
Shivering at the light touches, he moved his legs slightly to better tangle with the other, completely wrapping himself in his boyfriend. Smiling, he moved to kiss him again, licking at his lower lip. It felt wonderful…even if there was a little nagging voice telling him he was doing this for the wrong reasons. “It’s nice…” He managed to reach his chest and toy shyly with a nipple, curious what they actually felt like in his fingers.
Kaidoh nodded, opened his mouth to say something - and gasped instead as fingers brushed across his chest. Everything felt ten times as sensitive when it was someone else's hands. "Y-yeah… nice - " he agreed, realizing he was squeezing Ohtori's sides and loosened his grip, rubbing the places he'd grabbed lightly before sliding his arms behind Ohtori's back and returning the favor of a deep kiss.
Ohtori smiled a little and ran his fingers over it again, trying to get that gasp out again. Squeezing his eyes closed, he melted into the kiss and eventually pulled back to breathe, brushing Kaidoh’s bangs out of his eyes. “Uh- I don’t know..what else to do.”
Kaidoh just lay there, concentrating on breathing for a moment. His face still felt warm - but so did the rest of him really, and he wondered if all of him could blush. "Ah - I…. I dunno either…" He'd blatantly refused to even open the… thing Niou had left in his room, and even if he had… that wasn't - they wouldn't… no. So he was just as lost as Ohtori - he'd spent most of his life trying to stay away from other people and their hands. He rubbed Ohtori's back a little. "This's nice, though." Understatement of the year.
“Uhm-“ Well, he thought a while before blinking and glancing back at his computer. The people on the website Niou-senpai showed him were naked. They weren’t that far along though. Sitting up, straddling the other’s hips carefully he pulled off his own shirt, and then tugged suggestively at Kaidoh’s. “Can I?” He hoped it was ok, he knew he was blushing and clearly already getting a bit turned on from this, his breathing was still heavy and uneven. Leaning forward to steal a kiss, he smiled. “If not, I’ll understand…”
Blinking as Ohtori pulled off his own shirt, Kaidoh bit his lip and nodded slowly as Ohtori tugged on his. He really hated the way he looked - but Ohtori had seen him without a shirt before, and he seemed to want him to remove it now. He shifted upwards carefully, raising his arms so the other could pull the garment over his head. "Yeah… it's fine, if you don't mind… me…" If Ohtori didn't mind, neither did Kaidoh - he was feeling much too warm anyway, his skin extra-sensitive and he was liking every minute of it. The way Ohtori was panting was not helping any, either.
Freeing him of the shirt, he leaned forward again to capture those slightly swollen lips. The friction of skin on skin was a little more intense than he had expected, making fine bumps rise on his flesh. “I like every part of you.” He whispered quietly against his lips and bit down slightly. “I just wish I knew what I was doing to make you feel good.” He wished a lot of things right now.
… No, nothing could have prepared him for the way someone else's skin felt against his own. Kaidoh shuddered and buried the fingers of both hands in Ohtori's hair. "Ah - Anything," he offered, aware he was panting lightly himself by now. "Everything." It didn't matter what Ohtori was doing - he'd never felt any of it before, and it was all… amazing. "W-what can I do…?"
“I don’t know- I’m new to it…” He blushed and kissed him again, purring at those long fingers tangling in his hair. “Everything is so- wow.” Panting, he leaned down to kiss at his Adam’s apple curiously, laughing when it bobbed as Kaidoh swallowed. Shifting, he gasped when their hips rubbed. “Ohgod.”
"Yeah, me too - " Okay. Oh, shit. He grabbed Ohtori's hips, holding him right there, not sure if he wanted him to stop or keep moving. He closed his eyes, taking a few deep breaths, trying to form some kind of sentence. "W-was that… is that…" Breathe. "Wow."
Blushing a brilliant scarlet color, he froze and opened his mouth but nothing beyond a small squeak could escape. “I- uh- I am so sorry!” He wanted to go take a cold shower, his hormones getting him in too deep. He could feel his need pressing against his jeans and it was already getting a bit uncomfortable. “It’s so….wow, but is…do you want me to stop?”
What a stupid question, was the first thought that ran guiltily through Kaidoh's head. But - no, he stopped, shook his head to clear it. "I…. uh. I d-don't know…" He felt himself blush again. "No? But - ah… I…" Breathe. "What should we do…?" Again, he was torn absolutely in half - half of him very much wanted Ohtori to stay right there, this felt so damn good. But half told him this was… wrong? Sudden? Weird? He didn't know - all he knew was that this was both amazing and horrifying, and he wasn't sure he was even fit to be consulted on the matter.
“Okay…” Ohtori blinked down and tried that again, moving his hips carefully over Kaidoh’s biting down on his won lower lip to prevent a shaken moan from escaping. It felt too good, and Kaidoh looked so good like that, and he wanted more. Biting down lightly on his earlobe, he panted and shifted again. “We- we should…do what feels good….I think.” Right. That was good, just relax. They were a good couple…really.
Do what felt good? Okay - well that was exactly what Ohtori was doing, holy shit. For a moment, Kaidoh couldn't even speak, just breathe and try not to make any noise as Ohtori shifted on top of him. He realized his fingers were digging into Ohtori's hips again, and tried to loosen his grip, hoping it hadn't hurt and moving beneath Ohtori just a little to distract him - except, God, it just felt better every single time. He looked up, blinking, amazed at how different Ohtori looked like this. It was… really hot, he thought, blush growing worse by the second.
Panting as a hot sweat seemed to break out over his whole body and every muscle shook, he nodded. He was struggling against his own wants and keeping in control, up until Kaidoh looked at him like that and moved. Ohgod…dropping his head, he moved his hips more insistently against Kaidoh’s, ignoring the slight scratching of bone on skin. Bucking his hips slightly forward, he groaned. “You’re okay? Right?”
Okay? He was a hell of a lot more than okay - Kaidoh nodded weakly, mind reeling as Ohtori moved against him with more force. "Yeah… ah… you…?" he panted, closing his eyes and moving again, just a little, inhaling sharply. He clasped his hands around Ohtori's back, figuring there they couldn't do any more harm except pull the other boy closer, he was really trying not to scrape Ohtori…
“Good..” He pressed down a little more, wanting to feel more. He knew what was wanting all of his attention right now, it worried him. But Kaidoh- he must have felt the same…Closing his eyes, he let his body do what it wanted to on instinct. Groaning louder, he bucked forward a lot harder and cried out as the heated coil in his stomach came unwound suddenly making him choke slightly and drop his head agaist Kaidoh’ chest, maneuvering his hand between them to shakingly rub against the hard bulge in Kaidoh’s jeans.
It was too much - way too much - sensory overload as Ohtori first slammed their hips together, making the strangest half-choking sound of pleasure, then collapsed on his chest, rubbing his hand over -
Kaidoh bit his lip hard, tasting blood as he tensed, and then it was over and all he could do was keep breathing, head falling back on the pillows. After a moment, he glanced up at Ohtori, tentatively stroking his hair with one hand. "Y-you… okay, Choutarou-kun?"
Blinking at him through heavy lidded eyes, he smiled a little. “I think so…a-are you…?” He moved slightly on worn out limbs and managed to half roll off of the other teen and just lay beside him a moment, smiling at him faintly. So that was what all the fuss was about? He was still glowing a little, and moved to nuzzle his neck. He needed to change though, badly.
Kaidoh nodded, returning the smile with a very relieved one of his own. "Yeah… just… you wanna get changed first?" he asked, blushing again, pressing a kiss to the top of Ohtori's head. He'd definitely never, ever felt anything like that before. "I didn't scrape you… did I?" He propped himself up on his elbows, trying to examine the other for damage. That was the last thing on earth he wanted to do right now.
Smiling faintly, he nodded. “I need to change-“ Shifting uncomfortably in his jeans, he cautiously rose, kissing Kaidoh. He felt anther twinge of guilt as he moved slowly, stiffly to the drawer and grabbed a pair of pajama pants for himself and some for Kaidoh. “I uh- clean up…yeah…” Blushing, he hurried to the bathroom to quickly shower off and change into the clean pajamas. His mind wandering to the events of the evening at a frightening pace. What had he just done to Kaidoh!?
Figuring it would look… odd to see the both of them racing to shower at the same time, Kaidoh sat uncomfortably on the bed, fingering the clean pajamas Ohtori had given him and waiting for the other to return to take his turn showering. He stared at a spot on the floor, trying to piece together what had just happened. It had been… where to start? Okay - yes, it might be embarrassing, now that he thought about it - but it had been… really nice, too. He snorted and shook his head - really nice, who was he kidding? Damn. He'd had no idea… that someone touching him could make him feel like that. He looked up as Ohtori returned, nodding and smiling shyly and heading to shower himself.
Flopping back on the bed in a boneless slump, he watched Kaidoh leave. Now he had to think. Neko hopped up onto his chest and looked down at him, mewling in his face. “Neko- I am such a horrible person. You know that?” Petting the kitten, all he got was a cocked head and a quiet mewling sound. “Heh, yeah. I guess you wouldn’t know. Huh?” Kissing the kitten’s nose, he threw his dirty clothing into a plastic bag and frowned at them. Laundry, he would definitely have to do his laundry soon. He glared at the white screen showing that their movie had ended some time ago.
Kaidoh showered quickly, trying not to really think too hard. The cool water felt good and so did the clean clothes, he thought, bundling up his dirty ones, blushing and hurrying back across the hall to their room. He tossed the bundle in the laundry, cheeks still warm, and went to go sit on the side of the bed, watching Ohtori play with Neko. He wasn't sure if he should say something… "Uh. Tired?" he asked weakly, realizing that the movie was over and getting up to turn off the player. He was definitely feeling a bit tired by now.
Glancing up at the other boy with warm brown eyes, he nodded and shoed Neko to the center of the bed so he could move the comforter back and slip in. “Yeah- you?” He wasn’t actually that tired, but he was unsure what to say to the other right now. Laying on his part of the bed as he usually did, he smiled faintly and snuggled up to the warm pillow, his mind still reeling over what had just happened. Maybe just some time away. A long time away. He couldn’t hurt Kaidoh, or disappoint Shishido-san if he were gone.
Kaidoh nodded, actually a bit relieved - things suddenly seemed weird… He'd been trying to ignore it, but he felt so many things at once: relieved that he hadn't hurt Ohtori, flattered and glad that Ohtori had… wanted to do something like that with him, embarrassed that they had done something like that, worried that something might be wrong now… But maybe things really would be all right. They'd both liked it - there wasn't anything wrong with that, right? He hoped not, although he wasn't really sure there was exactly anyone he could ask.
Moving carefully beneath the blanket, Kaidoh risked a small kiss before settling down against the pillow. "Hey… t-thanks," he said, lifting his arm as Neko padded back up to curl comfortably between his chest and Ohtori's. He wasn't even sure what he was really thanking Ohtori for… but maybe the other would know.
Blushing at the kiss, he smiled and kissed him back, wondering why this time it felt almost forced, fake. Shifting carefully to make sure there was room for Neko, he stroked the kitten’s face and closed his own eyes, laying back comfortably. What was Kaidoh thanking him for? For being an idiot who couldn’t understand his own heart? Great…
”Thanks…” He mumbled back tiredly, and huddled deeper into the blankets with a quiet yawn against the back of his hand. He was tired, but he couldn’t sleep, not now. “Good night, Kaoru-kun…Neko.” With a small nod, he rolled and decided to pretend to sleep. No point in taking rest from his boyfriend/room mate. That would be another unfair act.
Ohtori sounded tired - and he was too, Kaidoh though, closing his eyes and settling down to sleep. "Mm-hm - g'night, Choutarou-kun." He took a few deep breaths, trying to clear his mind - otherwise he'd never sleep. And although his thoughts were still racing, he really was tired, and found himself drifting off to sleep before he knew it.
Ohtori lay in bed, perfectly still and breathing quietly. He listened to the sounds the other boy made as he slept; meanwhile his mind whirred and sputtered. He had to leave, now. It wasn’t right to lead Kaidoh-kun on. He loved him, yes. But it wasn’t a romantic sort of love, more a brotherly kind. It hurt him deeply to even think that, but he’d been fearing it and trying to push it from his mind for the last week. He was such a horrible person.
Making up his mind that he did not belong here, he carefully moved from the bed, laying his side of the comforter back down and receiving a reproachful mewl from Neko as he shuffled around, silently dressing warmly. Moving around the room, he packed his toothbrush, comb, and deodorant. Throwing his clothing and laptop into his bag, and stuffing his wallet into his back pocket. Sparing a quick glance at the rising and falling chest of his- of Kaidoh-san, he sighed, feeling warm tears already welling over in his eyes. “I’m so sorry-“ He pressed a light kiss on the other’s cheek and smiled one last time for him.
He quickly wrote a note to the other teen, sighing and putting it on his pillow before quietly leaving the room, his head down low as he tried not to break down right in the hallway. There was no going back, it wasn’t fair to anyone. No one ever said life was fair.
Dated: Last night and this morning.
Summary: We all knew it was coming, nothing good lasts forever.
Kaidoh led the way back onto campus, refusing to let Ohtori's hand go even as they traversed the hallways back to their room. They'd just been out for a while - dinner and a movie, but things felt markedly different when Kaidoh didn't have to hide under his hood like he used to. He really liked the image inducer - he knew it was only an illusion, but just the chance to look normal again, even for a little while, was something he'd never expected to have ever again.
It wasn't that late, he realized, unlocking their door to let them in again, crouching and greeting Neko once the door was shut behind them. He glanced up at Ohtori, still petting the small fuzzy head beneath his hand. "That was fun," he said, smiling a bit. "You tired?" Ohtori had seemed tired more often than not lately, and had taken to sleeping early and often. Kaidoh was a bit worried, but there didn't seem to be much he could do other than let his boyfriend sleep when he needed.
The date had been wonderful, Ohtori had to admit. They were only receiving stares that were to be expected towards two teenaged boys walking along, holding hands. Nothing else, Kaidoh seemed so much happier with his image inducer on. They could both come and go as they wanted now, it was almost like being normal again. Shaking the sad thought of never being normal from his mind, he grinned as they entered their room, moving to their bed to relax.
Glancing up, he smiled. “No, I’m not very tired right now. It’s still pretty early.” Leaning back on his elbows, he eyed the gauntlets, feeling a bit guilty about removing them for their date. He’d just have to put them back on in the morning. Looking warmly at his boyfriend, he smiled more. Things are the way they are supposed to be for a reason. It isn’t love. But he’s happy. He’s happy….I am too, right? Yeah- it’s supposed to be like this. Then why was there a sharp twisting pain in his chest right now? “Did you want to watch a film or something else?”
"Um… sure, that's fine," Kaidoh said, standing and cradling Neko to his chest - carefully, still - even if he looked normal right now, he was still sharp underneath the hologram. He sat on the edge of the bed, still petting the cat. "What do you want to watch? Just something random? I think you're the one with most of the movies - I didn't have very many to begin with." He glanced at Ohtori as he spoke - the other didn't look necessarily tired, so he supposed he must be doing all right today.
“Random is good.” Ohtori shuffled through his drawer and pulled out a DVD. He packed light when he moved to this school, so his collection was limited too. Putting the disk into the player, he scooted backwards on the bedding until he was leaning against the headboard. Patting the spot beside him, he looked warmly at his boyfriend and smiled. “Is a comedy ok?”
"Yeah, that's fine." Kaidoh really wasn't too picky about movies; he let Neko go and moved to the head of the bed, leaning against the headboard beside Ohtori, careful not to scratch him. It was funny - even if he couldn't see the bones, he still knew exactly where they were - and he hoped he was getting better at keeping them away from the other's skin. He tentatively entwined their arms and took Ohtori's hand, hoping the other wouldn't mind (why should he? But Kaidoh was always nervous, just the same) and glancing over for approval as the movie began.
Leaning carefully against his boyfriend, he watched the first few moments of the movie with muted attention, most of his mind inside, fighting with the doubts he’d been hiding so skillfully the last week or so. It isn’t fair to not love him. But- I don’t want to hurt him later…he’d be happier knowing, right? Or hate me forever…I don’t want him hating me… He blinked as his hand was grasped and smiled faintly, kissing Kaidoh’s cheek before moving to the image inducer and turning it off. He still couldn’t tell where the spikes were by memory alone.
Kaidoh blinked as something flickered - then realized that Ohtori had just turned off the image inducer. "Oh - ah, sorry," he apologized sheepishly, realizing that just because he could tell where the sharp parts of him were didn't mean that Ohtori could. "I was trying not to scrape you," he offered. "Guess this's better though." He still didn't really understand how anyone could stand to look at him without the image inducer - despite how many of the younger students had told him he looked "cool" with bones sticking out of his skin, he still wished they just… weren't there.
“It’s okay. Just easier to do this.” Ohtori laughed slightly and leaned closer, tangling one leg over Kaidoh’s as they had started to do when they actually did sleep at the same time. Smiling, he rested a hand over the other’s chest and rested a cheek on his chest. “Much better.” Sure Kaidoh was attractive without the bones, hell, even hot. Ohtori was used to his boyfriend with the bones, that wasn’t what mattered to him. Unless I am really just becoming shallow.... I would never be that superficial. But it didn’t ease that miserable feeling that this could never last.
"If you think so," Kaidoh admitted, bringing his other hand up to stroke Ohtori's hair softly - just like he'd pet Neko (and he'd told Ohtori often enough that he really was just a big cat at heart, with the way the tall boy acted). "Glad you're feeling better today - you seemed really tired lately." He settled back a little, leaning a little to the side so he wouldn't ruin the headboard. That was the last thing they needed - he didn't want to move, not with Ohtori leaning against him, keeping his side pleasantly warm.
“I do.” He smiled and kisses along his jawline. Maybe they just weren’t close enough? He was about to comment on it when his hair was touched. Closing his eyes and all but purring, he snuggled closer, narrowly missing a few spikes. He’d become very talented in dodging them. “I have been-“ Shifting closer still, he smiled shyly and raked his fingers gently down the other’s abdomen, soothingly.
"Mmmm - um," Kaidoh blinked; that felt… really nice. He leaned down and kissed Ohtori's forehead gently, feeling a blush spring up into his cheeks and trying to ignore it. "Yeah… think your power'll calm down soon and give you a break?" Maybe that was why Ohtori had seemed a bit off this week - he'd told Kaidoh his power was… well, in effect, draining him, leaving him with no energy of his own sometimes. The fact that there was absolutely nothing Kaidoh could do about this only made him worry more. Slipping a few fingers through Ohtori's hair, he squeezed the hand holding his.
Blushing at that pleased sound, he blinked and leaned over Kaidoh with his hands on both sides of his boyfriend’s shoulders. “Uhm Kaoru-kun…I was wondering. W-would you like it….of we uhm- maybe…did more than just kissing?” He winced, it sounded so dumb when he said it like that!
Kaidoh blinked again - then felt his cheeks grow even hotter. "Uhm. M-more than…" Okay. Fine. He'd occasionally… though about what it might be like to do… more, but - it had always seemed so impossible. What if he hurt Ohtori-kun really badly? And the other had always seemed… well, at least as shy about it as Kaidoh felt. "Do… do you want to?" He finally managed to get out, looking at Ohtori-kun and wondering what had brought this on. Half of him certainly didn't mind in the least. But the other half of him was mortified at the thought of even trying to do anything Ohtori didn't want. His cheeks must be beet red by now…
Looking down at him again seriously, he cocked his head. “I asked you first.” He could admit to being a hormonal teen, easily. It happened, and sometimes he just wanted to feel closer. Maybe that was entirely the problem with the relationship. Maybe this would ease his own doubts of whether or not they really did belong together.
"Um." Kaidoh glanced down a minute, thinking frantically. He… might as well be truthful, right? That was what relationships were based on, right? He looked up, trying not to blush more. "I… I wouldn't mind, no," he said slowly, kissing Ohtori's cheek lightly. "I… yeah, I'd like it. But not - I don't want to hurt you," he said quickly, glancing down worriedly. "And n-not if you didn't want to."
Smiling as he was more or less given the go ahead, he leaned down carefully to kiss him deeply and nip at his lower lip. Maybe this would make it all make sense. “You won’t hurt me, don’t let me hurt you?” With that, he put his weight on the other a little more and tangled a hand into the bottom of his shirt. “I-I’d like to try.” His other hand moved to stroke his collarbone. He’d never done this before, so it was all going to be a test.
Kaidoh just took a deep breath, nodding. If Ohtori really wanted to try… well, his body was definitely telling him to give it a try too. "You can't hurt me," he insisted. "Healing factor, anyway." He offered a small smile, wrapping his arms loosely around Ohtori's waist. "Do… whatever you want," he said, eyes sliding shut a moment as fingers stroked his collarbone, feeling the warmth in his cheeks refuse to recede, moving his hands slightly to brush the other's back through his shirt. It hardly seemed fair if this was all one-sided...
Blushing, he shifted and felt his skin rising to the touch through his shirt. “Mhm….ok…you can uhm- do whatever too…okay?” He wondered if healing factors pertained to the heart before adjusting so he could lick at his neck, dotting the pulse points with light kisses and trying to think of where he could go next. There were so many places- but he wasn’t sure how to do this. Somewhere in the background the movie played on.
Kaidoh could only nod carefully, afraid to open his mouth for fear of what might come out. Trying to concentrate on what Ohtori might like, he shyly slipped his fingers beneath the other's shirt and traced a few vertebrae with cautious fingertips. Ohtori's lips were very warm, and vaguely he remembered that they'd been watching a movie but that really didn't seem to matter at all now.
Blushing and pressing closer to Kaidoh, he was panting heavily on his collarbone, and trying not to drop on the other boy, no matter what. Each touch under his shirt made his arms shake a little more. Wanting to sharing that feeling, he slipped his fingers under Kaidoh’s shirt a little and left fleeting feather touches on his smooth, warm belly. “I-is this ok?”
"A-ah… yeah, s'fine," Kaidoh said, trying to stay still - Ohtori's fingers tickled, but in a good way - the only other people who'd ever really touched him were doctors, and they just… well. That definitely didn't feel the same. He dug his fingers into Ohtori's back a little - still careful not to scratch him - taking a few deep breaths himself and pressing his thumbs into the small of Ohtori's back, massaging.
“Mmm…” Ohtori purred out, moaning slightly under his breath. Moving his fingers up higher under his shirt, tracing the muscles. Nipping at his collarbone, he blinked slightly. That was supposed to feel good too, right? Biting a little harder, he chuckled against the slick skin.
And it did feel good. Kaidoh bit his lip to keep from making any sounds, but he definitely liked that. A lot. That didn't feel like anything he'd ever felt before. He dug his thumbs in a little harder before letting go, worried he would bruise the other, and settled for bringing his hands around to Ohtori's sides, running fingers lightly up and down them beneath his shirt. He leaned down and kissed silver hair quickly, tangling their legs a little more.
Shivering at the light touches, he moved his legs slightly to better tangle with the other, completely wrapping himself in his boyfriend. Smiling, he moved to kiss him again, licking at his lower lip. It felt wonderful…even if there was a little nagging voice telling him he was doing this for the wrong reasons. “It’s nice…” He managed to reach his chest and toy shyly with a nipple, curious what they actually felt like in his fingers.
Kaidoh nodded, opened his mouth to say something - and gasped instead as fingers brushed across his chest. Everything felt ten times as sensitive when it was someone else's hands. "Y-yeah… nice - " he agreed, realizing he was squeezing Ohtori's sides and loosened his grip, rubbing the places he'd grabbed lightly before sliding his arms behind Ohtori's back and returning the favor of a deep kiss.
Ohtori smiled a little and ran his fingers over it again, trying to get that gasp out again. Squeezing his eyes closed, he melted into the kiss and eventually pulled back to breathe, brushing Kaidoh’s bangs out of his eyes. “Uh- I don’t know..what else to do.”
Kaidoh just lay there, concentrating on breathing for a moment. His face still felt warm - but so did the rest of him really, and he wondered if all of him could blush. "Ah - I…. I dunno either…" He'd blatantly refused to even open the… thing Niou had left in his room, and even if he had… that wasn't - they wouldn't… no. So he was just as lost as Ohtori - he'd spent most of his life trying to stay away from other people and their hands. He rubbed Ohtori's back a little. "This's nice, though." Understatement of the year.
“Uhm-“ Well, he thought a while before blinking and glancing back at his computer. The people on the website Niou-senpai showed him were naked. They weren’t that far along though. Sitting up, straddling the other’s hips carefully he pulled off his own shirt, and then tugged suggestively at Kaidoh’s. “Can I?” He hoped it was ok, he knew he was blushing and clearly already getting a bit turned on from this, his breathing was still heavy and uneven. Leaning forward to steal a kiss, he smiled. “If not, I’ll understand…”
Blinking as Ohtori pulled off his own shirt, Kaidoh bit his lip and nodded slowly as Ohtori tugged on his. He really hated the way he looked - but Ohtori had seen him without a shirt before, and he seemed to want him to remove it now. He shifted upwards carefully, raising his arms so the other could pull the garment over his head. "Yeah… it's fine, if you don't mind… me…" If Ohtori didn't mind, neither did Kaidoh - he was feeling much too warm anyway, his skin extra-sensitive and he was liking every minute of it. The way Ohtori was panting was not helping any, either.
Freeing him of the shirt, he leaned forward again to capture those slightly swollen lips. The friction of skin on skin was a little more intense than he had expected, making fine bumps rise on his flesh. “I like every part of you.” He whispered quietly against his lips and bit down slightly. “I just wish I knew what I was doing to make you feel good.” He wished a lot of things right now.
… No, nothing could have prepared him for the way someone else's skin felt against his own. Kaidoh shuddered and buried the fingers of both hands in Ohtori's hair. "Ah - Anything," he offered, aware he was panting lightly himself by now. "Everything." It didn't matter what Ohtori was doing - he'd never felt any of it before, and it was all… amazing. "W-what can I do…?"
“I don’t know- I’m new to it…” He blushed and kissed him again, purring at those long fingers tangling in his hair. “Everything is so- wow.” Panting, he leaned down to kiss at his Adam’s apple curiously, laughing when it bobbed as Kaidoh swallowed. Shifting, he gasped when their hips rubbed. “Ohgod.”
"Yeah, me too - " Okay. Oh, shit. He grabbed Ohtori's hips, holding him right there, not sure if he wanted him to stop or keep moving. He closed his eyes, taking a few deep breaths, trying to form some kind of sentence. "W-was that… is that…" Breathe. "Wow."
Blushing a brilliant scarlet color, he froze and opened his mouth but nothing beyond a small squeak could escape. “I- uh- I am so sorry!” He wanted to go take a cold shower, his hormones getting him in too deep. He could feel his need pressing against his jeans and it was already getting a bit uncomfortable. “It’s so….wow, but is…do you want me to stop?”
What a stupid question, was the first thought that ran guiltily through Kaidoh's head. But - no, he stopped, shook his head to clear it. "I…. uh. I d-don't know…" He felt himself blush again. "No? But - ah… I…" Breathe. "What should we do…?" Again, he was torn absolutely in half - half of him very much wanted Ohtori to stay right there, this felt so damn good. But half told him this was… wrong? Sudden? Weird? He didn't know - all he knew was that this was both amazing and horrifying, and he wasn't sure he was even fit to be consulted on the matter.
“Okay…” Ohtori blinked down and tried that again, moving his hips carefully over Kaidoh’s biting down on his won lower lip to prevent a shaken moan from escaping. It felt too good, and Kaidoh looked so good like that, and he wanted more. Biting down lightly on his earlobe, he panted and shifted again. “We- we should…do what feels good….I think.” Right. That was good, just relax. They were a good couple…really.
Do what felt good? Okay - well that was exactly what Ohtori was doing, holy shit. For a moment, Kaidoh couldn't even speak, just breathe and try not to make any noise as Ohtori shifted on top of him. He realized his fingers were digging into Ohtori's hips again, and tried to loosen his grip, hoping it hadn't hurt and moving beneath Ohtori just a little to distract him - except, God, it just felt better every single time. He looked up, blinking, amazed at how different Ohtori looked like this. It was… really hot, he thought, blush growing worse by the second.
Panting as a hot sweat seemed to break out over his whole body and every muscle shook, he nodded. He was struggling against his own wants and keeping in control, up until Kaidoh looked at him like that and moved. Ohgod…dropping his head, he moved his hips more insistently against Kaidoh’s, ignoring the slight scratching of bone on skin. Bucking his hips slightly forward, he groaned. “You’re okay? Right?”
Okay? He was a hell of a lot more than okay - Kaidoh nodded weakly, mind reeling as Ohtori moved against him with more force. "Yeah… ah… you…?" he panted, closing his eyes and moving again, just a little, inhaling sharply. He clasped his hands around Ohtori's back, figuring there they couldn't do any more harm except pull the other boy closer, he was really trying not to scrape Ohtori…
“Good..” He pressed down a little more, wanting to feel more. He knew what was wanting all of his attention right now, it worried him. But Kaidoh- he must have felt the same…Closing his eyes, he let his body do what it wanted to on instinct. Groaning louder, he bucked forward a lot harder and cried out as the heated coil in his stomach came unwound suddenly making him choke slightly and drop his head agaist Kaidoh’ chest, maneuvering his hand between them to shakingly rub against the hard bulge in Kaidoh’s jeans.
It was too much - way too much - sensory overload as Ohtori first slammed their hips together, making the strangest half-choking sound of pleasure, then collapsed on his chest, rubbing his hand over -
Kaidoh bit his lip hard, tasting blood as he tensed, and then it was over and all he could do was keep breathing, head falling back on the pillows. After a moment, he glanced up at Ohtori, tentatively stroking his hair with one hand. "Y-you… okay, Choutarou-kun?"
Blinking at him through heavy lidded eyes, he smiled a little. “I think so…a-are you…?” He moved slightly on worn out limbs and managed to half roll off of the other teen and just lay beside him a moment, smiling at him faintly. So that was what all the fuss was about? He was still glowing a little, and moved to nuzzle his neck. He needed to change though, badly.
Kaidoh nodded, returning the smile with a very relieved one of his own. "Yeah… just… you wanna get changed first?" he asked, blushing again, pressing a kiss to the top of Ohtori's head. He'd definitely never, ever felt anything like that before. "I didn't scrape you… did I?" He propped himself up on his elbows, trying to examine the other for damage. That was the last thing on earth he wanted to do right now.
Smiling faintly, he nodded. “I need to change-“ Shifting uncomfortably in his jeans, he cautiously rose, kissing Kaidoh. He felt anther twinge of guilt as he moved slowly, stiffly to the drawer and grabbed a pair of pajama pants for himself and some for Kaidoh. “I uh- clean up…yeah…” Blushing, he hurried to the bathroom to quickly shower off and change into the clean pajamas. His mind wandering to the events of the evening at a frightening pace. What had he just done to Kaidoh!?
Figuring it would look… odd to see the both of them racing to shower at the same time, Kaidoh sat uncomfortably on the bed, fingering the clean pajamas Ohtori had given him and waiting for the other to return to take his turn showering. He stared at a spot on the floor, trying to piece together what had just happened. It had been… where to start? Okay - yes, it might be embarrassing, now that he thought about it - but it had been… really nice, too. He snorted and shook his head - really nice, who was he kidding? Damn. He'd had no idea… that someone touching him could make him feel like that. He looked up as Ohtori returned, nodding and smiling shyly and heading to shower himself.
Flopping back on the bed in a boneless slump, he watched Kaidoh leave. Now he had to think. Neko hopped up onto his chest and looked down at him, mewling in his face. “Neko- I am such a horrible person. You know that?” Petting the kitten, all he got was a cocked head and a quiet mewling sound. “Heh, yeah. I guess you wouldn’t know. Huh?” Kissing the kitten’s nose, he threw his dirty clothing into a plastic bag and frowned at them. Laundry, he would definitely have to do his laundry soon. He glared at the white screen showing that their movie had ended some time ago.
Kaidoh showered quickly, trying not to really think too hard. The cool water felt good and so did the clean clothes, he thought, bundling up his dirty ones, blushing and hurrying back across the hall to their room. He tossed the bundle in the laundry, cheeks still warm, and went to go sit on the side of the bed, watching Ohtori play with Neko. He wasn't sure if he should say something… "Uh. Tired?" he asked weakly, realizing that the movie was over and getting up to turn off the player. He was definitely feeling a bit tired by now.
Glancing up at the other boy with warm brown eyes, he nodded and shoed Neko to the center of the bed so he could move the comforter back and slip in. “Yeah- you?” He wasn’t actually that tired, but he was unsure what to say to the other right now. Laying on his part of the bed as he usually did, he smiled faintly and snuggled up to the warm pillow, his mind still reeling over what had just happened. Maybe just some time away. A long time away. He couldn’t hurt Kaidoh, or disappoint Shishido-san if he were gone.
Kaidoh nodded, actually a bit relieved - things suddenly seemed weird… He'd been trying to ignore it, but he felt so many things at once: relieved that he hadn't hurt Ohtori, flattered and glad that Ohtori had… wanted to do something like that with him, embarrassed that they had done something like that, worried that something might be wrong now… But maybe things really would be all right. They'd both liked it - there wasn't anything wrong with that, right? He hoped not, although he wasn't really sure there was exactly anyone he could ask.
Moving carefully beneath the blanket, Kaidoh risked a small kiss before settling down against the pillow. "Hey… t-thanks," he said, lifting his arm as Neko padded back up to curl comfortably between his chest and Ohtori's. He wasn't even sure what he was really thanking Ohtori for… but maybe the other would know.
Blushing at the kiss, he smiled and kissed him back, wondering why this time it felt almost forced, fake. Shifting carefully to make sure there was room for Neko, he stroked the kitten’s face and closed his own eyes, laying back comfortably. What was Kaidoh thanking him for? For being an idiot who couldn’t understand his own heart? Great…
”Thanks…” He mumbled back tiredly, and huddled deeper into the blankets with a quiet yawn against the back of his hand. He was tired, but he couldn’t sleep, not now. “Good night, Kaoru-kun…Neko.” With a small nod, he rolled and decided to pretend to sleep. No point in taking rest from his boyfriend/room mate. That would be another unfair act.
Ohtori sounded tired - and he was too, Kaidoh though, closing his eyes and settling down to sleep. "Mm-hm - g'night, Choutarou-kun." He took a few deep breaths, trying to clear his mind - otherwise he'd never sleep. And although his thoughts were still racing, he really was tired, and found himself drifting off to sleep before he knew it.
Ohtori lay in bed, perfectly still and breathing quietly. He listened to the sounds the other boy made as he slept; meanwhile his mind whirred and sputtered. He had to leave, now. It wasn’t right to lead Kaidoh-kun on. He loved him, yes. But it wasn’t a romantic sort of love, more a brotherly kind. It hurt him deeply to even think that, but he’d been fearing it and trying to push it from his mind for the last week. He was such a horrible person.
Making up his mind that he did not belong here, he carefully moved from the bed, laying his side of the comforter back down and receiving a reproachful mewl from Neko as he shuffled around, silently dressing warmly. Moving around the room, he packed his toothbrush, comb, and deodorant. Throwing his clothing and laptop into his bag, and stuffing his wallet into his back pocket. Sparing a quick glance at the rising and falling chest of his- of Kaidoh-san, he sighed, feeling warm tears already welling over in his eyes. “I’m so sorry-“ He pressed a light kiss on the other’s cheek and smiled one last time for him.
He quickly wrote a note to the other teen, sighing and putting it on his pillow before quietly leaving the room, his head down low as he tried not to break down right in the hallway. There was no going back, it wasn’t fair to anyone. No one ever said life was fair.
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