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May. 18th, 2005 05:35 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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tenipuri_xpRating: Pg-ish?
Dated: Monday the 16th
Summary: Kamio comes over for a short visit. Things revealed.
Kamio drummed his fingers on the surface his desk, eyes flicking back and forth between the screen and the rest of his room. The overhead lights were out, only the glow of his computer and a small lamp on the desk illuminating the chaotic space. The speakers were on low; the music was almost sweet -- if a bit odd when compared to his normal, heavier fare.
But he had varied taste. He just didn't let most people know that.
Still, the redhead had been going slowly insane all day. Extra training, including, ironically, practice drills on avoiding laser beams being aimed at him. No iPod in class all day, and only the constant ticking of a metronome to keep him from completely loosing it. Even setting it at a nice, quick 168 beats per minute hadn't provided him with any distraction, as his classmates had only shoot him a few annoyed glances. Not the reaction that he'd been going for. And not a single word out Saeki, but he forced himself not to dwell on it. It shouldn't bother him that the silver-haired mutant had gone silent. Given the extra security measures being taken at present, that was probably for the best.
Still, Kamio was bored. And when he considered that part of the school blowing up was the most exciting thing to happen since he had last ditched afternoon classes, well, that was pretty bad. His classmates had, for the most part, given him a wider berth than normal for the past couple of days. He could guess why and probably what they were thinking, without anyone actually saying a word to him.
He didn't even need telepathy to figure it out.
It was the main reason why, after his evening training session -- and a hot shower to ease the ache of his leg muscles -- the redhead had retreated to the relative safety of his room. At least there, the only person he might have to worry about would be his "roommate." He had yet to actually see said roommate though, and that had made for a very boring evening pacing the floor and stewing over things in his own mind.
Othori's invitation to hang out had been totally unexpected, but not unwelcome, distraction from everything else. He started to reach for his iPod, figuring that the other teen's room would probably be different enough from his to be interesting -- and he had seen enough of his own four walls to last him for a few months, at the very least -- but paused and snatched the stupid metronome instead.
"If he didn't make the effort," Blah blah blah. He rolled his eyes at the brief snippet of conversation between him and his sensai, then headed out of the room. The bedroom door slammed behind him.
A handful of seconds later, he stood outside a nondescript door, almost identical to the doors on either side of it. Except for the black tape that wrapped the handle. "Yo! Tori!" Knocking loudly, he stepped back and opened the cover to the metronome as he waited. "Hrhm, let's see. Largo. No. Way too slow. Adagio, better, but still no." He pulled the crossbar down the metal pendulum, resting it just at 100 beats. Andante, he might be able to handle.
Ohtori had been at his computer, typing away furiously on his research essay on the various applications for his abundance of electrical energy and had paused to check his mail and soon found himself inviting Kamio over. That was probably a bad idea. He’d friend the DVD player and was still replacing light bulbs around the small rooms he called ‘home’. How was he to entertain the other boy? And what if his room mate arrived then?
So much pressure! Wincing as one of the freshly changed bulbs across the room burst, he muttered under his breath and went to change it. He had time, Kamio wouldn’t get there that-
There was a knocking at the door. Maybe Kamio could get there that fast. Moving quickly, thought probably not as quickly as the other would like, he reached for the door thinking about how he’d overheard whispers about the red-head being the bomber. If that is the case, he’d just have to be extra nice, there was no way Kamio would do that, right?
Opening his door finally and laughing at his black tape cover, he ushered the shorter boy inside. “Hi, glad you could make it. Feeling better?”
Kamio fiddled idly with the metronome cover, though the piece of black plastic was not really that interesting. He'd already shifted again, leaning on the wall next to the door and waiting for it to open. Dark blue eyes glanced up as the door swung ajar, studying the taller teen that had opened it. "Hey," he replied, then took a slow breath. "No problem, and yeah, I'm fine."
Or he would be. The explosion the other night had knocked him off his desk chair, where'd he'd been comfortably sitting and downloading music. He had the bruise on his hip to prove it, along with another one on his leg where some books had fallen from his desk.
He just didn't feel the need to prove anything. It wasn't his fault that he was fast enough to have gotten down to the lower level first, nor that his sense of self-preservation had had him outside the dormoritory instead of dealing with the chaos inside.
Standing up, he scratched the side of his face with the rounded tip of the plastic cover. "What about you? Any major damage?"
Grinning as the boy came in, he offered him a seat and went to fetch something to drink. “I’m glad you are alright, I was up worried most of the night when Hanamura-sensei sent the message out that there were injuries during the explosion.” Handing him a cool can of juice from his little mini-fridge, he turned and sat on one of the cushions on the floor, legs crossed up in front of himself, and lanky arms wrapped tightly around his legs.
Cocking his head and finally sprawling out more comfortably, he opened his own drink and took a short swallow, letting it cool his throat.
Thinking about the explosion, he laughed slightly. “Promise not to tell anyone, but it did mess up my room a little. But I can do more damage without trying, so I am not too upset about it. I am just curious about my new room mate.”
After a few moments of thought, brown eyes returned to the red head and he smiled. “So what did you want to do. Sorry, I am not the most dreadfully interesting person on the school grounds.”
Kamio raised an eyebrow, eyes darting quickly around the room. This was messed up? Right, he thought, smirking as he popped the can of juice open and took a swallow. "This is nothing. You can't even see the floor in my room," he smirked. Spinning around, he took a setting that was pretty much like his own, but clean. "And the roommate thing. Yeah," he frowned. "Not looking forward to what's his name moving in?" He'd only bothered to skim the email. The words hosting and roommate had been yet another set of irritations to add to a quickly growing list.
"That should be a real treat," he grumbled.
He sat himself down on the floor, leaning against the side of the bed, and stretched his legs out. The juice can was set aside as he turned his attention to the metronome. "Sorry 'bout this," he sighed as he started the bar swinging back and forth, then placed it on the floor next to him. He shut his eyes, listening to the steady click-click-click and timing his breaths to it. It was an exercise that he hated, truthfully, no matter that it somewhat worked. "Gets annoying after awhile, but it's supposed to be better than me racing all over a room."
Frowning deeper, the redhead rested his chin in his hand and shrugged. "No idea, really. This place is boring and it's not like we can go out."
Frowning as he looked around, spotting more broken glass in the corner and reminding himself to sweep that up later. “It is a bit messy, just a different kind.” Alright, true none of that glass was from the explosion but from his own stupid mistakes with his exercises, but no need to bring that up.
”It might not be so bad. I talked to him briefly on the journals, he seems nice. But sad.” Curling up again, he sighed. It seemed all mutants were condemned to be sad for now. Eventually everything would be okay, right?
Ohtori watched the bar curiously, eyes following the beat. He’d seen those before, there was one on his piano at home. “It’s alright.” Honestly the constancy was somewhat soothing, and made him want to play along with it. His fingers moved gracefully along his leg, tapping a rhythm with it, a song coming to mind almost instantly. “You can race around if it makes you feel better, but you’d have to watch your step. Glass shards…”
Kamio shrugged. "Stepped on 'em before. They don't hurt that bad," he admitted. He let himself slouch down, hands resting on his knees and fingers twitching to the steady beat. The near-silence was strange, just voices -- his own and Ohtori's -- filling his ears. He could honestly say he didn't care for it, nor did he really know what to do with it.
Kamio hated silence.
"The roommate thing is lame," he ground out, then began methodically listing the reasons. "Someone else in my space, looking over my shoulder, watching everything that I do. Great. Probably will want the music turned down or off completely at night, and it's not going to help that I'm up most of the night, every night. Not to mention there's the whole power thing." He paused long enough for a breath. "I don't even know what the guy does and it's not like we all don't have some sort of 'special' need that has to be catered too."
Sighing deeply, he ran a hand through his hair and pushed it out of his eyes. "But, yeah. Whatever." The redhead looked away, still frowning. "It's probably not going to matter much anyway."
Kamio seemed edgy, Ohtori frowned and thought of how to make his guest more comfortable. “Still, it isn’t pleasant.” He lifted his left hand to show off his bandaged fingertips, he wished bulbs would quit exploding in his hands when he tried to change them. Hmmm…Jumping up, he went over to his small computer and turned on a random playlist so at least there would be something to lull what he felt were far too many silences.
“The roommate thing might not be too bad; you might have a lot in common with the person. Yeah. But if he doesn’t work out for you, maybe we can trade and you can stay here. If you want.” He laughed. “Special needs? I just need to warn him to watch his step and not take the tape off of the door. I would like to be able to let people in without electrocuting them.”
Wait? Why wouldn’t…? “Oi, why wouldn’t it matter? Convinced they’ll be quiet?”
Kamio nodded at the bandaged hand. He could sympathize, to a degree; he certainly had enough bruises from misjudging speed and distance, from running into or stumbling over various things. Not to mention that it was flat out humiliating to do so most of the time. The redhead shifted, fingers still moving as he listened to music that the other boy had put on. Soft, lulling, almost soothing rhythm, which he could focus on a lot easier than the ticking of the metronome. Even he found the unvaried sound annoying after a few minutes.
"In common?" he repeated, stifling a small, wry laugh. "With me?" The smirk on his face was almost bitter as he mulled over the possibilities of someone on the Ryuhana campus having something in common with him. "I don't think that they could handle more than one person with my interests, Tori."
Moving again, he drew his legs up and wrapped his arms around his knees. "And no, we won't need to trade rooms or anything. It'll be fine, really." The redhead bit down on his lower lip, casting a small, wary gaze at the other boy. His mouth had moved before his brain, as seemed to be common for him, because he really hadn't meant to give away that small bit of information. Damn.
"It just won't," he replied, glancing down to study his quivering fingers. "I " He hesitated, lips curling down further.
"Don't say anything to anyone but I'm not sure I'll be here much longer."
“Are your interests really all that bad, Kamio?” He leaned forward studying him intently. What could he possibly do that would be so bad, in his own opinion?
Kamio seemed distracted. Ohtori hated not knowing what to do or say to help another person out. Wait? Did he say…
”Why would you leave? It’s really safer here than it is out there!” He swallowed and leaned a little closer, “I won’t say anything to anyone…but are you sure that’s a good idea? I mean, it’s not so bad here. The lockdown is a bother, but it is for our protection.”
Kamio sighed and glanced up at the other boy through the fall of his bangs. "It depends on your defination of bad." He smirked and tilted his head to one side, crimson strands shifting to cover more of his face. "I survive. I keep myself amused. That's all that matter's as far as I'm concerned."
The mention of the lockdown brought an aggravated glower to his eyes. "Safe? You call this safe, Tori? The lower level just got taken out by a bomb. Not a very good one," he admitted. "Ya know, given how much of the building is still standing. Last time I checked, I've never had someplace I was sleeping bombed. And I've slept in some pretty nasty places."
Straightening his back, he uncurled his legs and stood up in one quick movement, stepping to one side and away from the other boy who had been pressing into his space. "Living here is like being in a cage," he complained. "And that was before they increased the damn security! You need freaking permission to set foot outside the gates!"
Hands ran through his hair, and he tried to focus on his breathing. "This is total bullshit, Tori. All the training, the philosophy that they keep preaching all of it. It's not going to work."
“I-well…” He was right, the school was bombed, he’d never been anywhere near a bombing before. And then one went of a level below his room. Curling defensively at the idea, he frowned. Maybe he should go home? He could go back into hiding…”I’m-sorry that you’ve had to deal with that.”
He hadn’t expected the other boy to jump up suddenly; he had been to close perhaps? Biting his lower lip, he nodded. “It does sort of seem prison-like. But I think it’s for our own protection. Some of us are dangerous…some people out there are too.” Even if he did just want to go see his parents, now he could do that. Secretly he wondered if they were still writing him and he was just not getting the letters. No, the school wouldn’t do that.
“Uhm…well, they do think we can…but it won’t be easy and it will take a lot of work. Please don’t give up on something good, it’s all about keeping hope alive!” He looked up, brown eyes shining. Perhaps he bought into the pretty picture a little too much for his own good, but he needed something to believe in.
"As I said, I've been through some nasty shit," Kamio replied, blowing the incident off. Scrubbing his hair with his fingers, he leaned his head back.
"Our own protection? You really believe that?" He snorted derisively. "Tori, the only time people claim anything they're doing is for your own protection, they're really doing it for themselves. So what if some of 'us' are dangerous. They are too. Hell," he motioned absently towards the window as he started to pace the floor. "Some of them are completely fucking nuts. Yet they're allowed to walk the streets and we're not."
"It's not about hope, Tori," he finally sighed. "I haven't bothered with that for years." Chewing on the inside of his cheek, he shrugged and paused, turning to face the other boy. "It's about someone feeding me a pile of crap and expecting me to swallow it like a good little boy. Besides," he murmured, considering his own past experiences, "what makes you think humans are worth the effort, huh?"
“I want to believe something. I can’t believe that there is nothing and we’ll have to hide in shame forever. There’s no point in living if that’s the case!” Flopping back against the bed and fisting the bottom of his pant legs he frowned sadly. “What benefits could ‘they’ have by keeping us here? I mean…” he didn’t know what he meant. “I know for a fact I am better kept away from people! You might not be, but I know some of us don’t want to live with the responsibility of hurting people!”
He grabbed his pillow trying to resist a slightly violent impulse from escaping. The shy boy could actually be rather explosive at times, and was finding it difficult to stay calm. This subject was all hitting far too close to home. “Just because of a few bad experiences, you are going to run away? It’s not about being a good kid anymore, this is about surviving.” Gripping the pillow tighter; he sighed, calming himself. Frying the guy was a horrible thing, and he would not do anything to risk an accident.
“I was always taught to never give up on anyone. Human or…whatever you want to call us. We aren’t all that different at all. No one is.” Forcing a slight smile to his face, he released the pillow. “Besides, even if you give up on them, I am not giving up on you.”
Kamio sighed and shook his head, sweeping his bangs away from his face -- though they fell right back in front of his left eye the moment his fingers darted away. "We're what, Tori? Can't you even say it. We're freaks," he hissed. "Mutants. It gets easier to say once you stop trying to think of yourself in their terms. If you stop being so damn afraid of yourself. But whatever." The redhead shrugged again.
"And this is still hiding. You're going to be hiding until they 'understand.' Given how well they are at understanding each other -- members of their own damn species -- well, expect to be doing it for awhile. Because, like it or not, we are different from them."
He moved towards the bed, reaching down and snatching up the still-ticking metronome from the floor. "Personally, I'm all about survival and I'm sick of hiding. I'm what I am. I'm tired of being fucking ashamed of it." He turned away, movements never stilling for an instant as he headed towards the door.
"You want to survive, Tori. You're going to have to fight, because they aren't going to accept us peacefully."
”We are not freaks…” He mumbled back nervously, what if he really upset Kamio? “And I am not…afraid of myself.” Just what I am capable of doing.
He watched unable to argue as the other boy snatched his belongings and left suddenly. The door slamming loudly behind him as he left. “I…don’t fight.”
He flopped on the bed and dropped his head to his arms. Today was by far the worst day ever. Kamio was upset, and Fuji had talked him into something, and he still didn’t even know what. Tugging on the end of the mattress he glared at the light bulb remaining in his room. That single bit of light was really getting on his nerves. A moment of concentration, and it burst in a bright flash leaving him to the darkness.
Dated: Monday the 16th
Summary: Kamio comes over for a short visit. Things revealed.
Kamio drummed his fingers on the surface his desk, eyes flicking back and forth between the screen and the rest of his room. The overhead lights were out, only the glow of his computer and a small lamp on the desk illuminating the chaotic space. The speakers were on low; the music was almost sweet -- if a bit odd when compared to his normal, heavier fare.
But he had varied taste. He just didn't let most people know that.
Still, the redhead had been going slowly insane all day. Extra training, including, ironically, practice drills on avoiding laser beams being aimed at him. No iPod in class all day, and only the constant ticking of a metronome to keep him from completely loosing it. Even setting it at a nice, quick 168 beats per minute hadn't provided him with any distraction, as his classmates had only shoot him a few annoyed glances. Not the reaction that he'd been going for. And not a single word out Saeki, but he forced himself not to dwell on it. It shouldn't bother him that the silver-haired mutant had gone silent. Given the extra security measures being taken at present, that was probably for the best.
Still, Kamio was bored. And when he considered that part of the school blowing up was the most exciting thing to happen since he had last ditched afternoon classes, well, that was pretty bad. His classmates had, for the most part, given him a wider berth than normal for the past couple of days. He could guess why and probably what they were thinking, without anyone actually saying a word to him.
He didn't even need telepathy to figure it out.
It was the main reason why, after his evening training session -- and a hot shower to ease the ache of his leg muscles -- the redhead had retreated to the relative safety of his room. At least there, the only person he might have to worry about would be his "roommate." He had yet to actually see said roommate though, and that had made for a very boring evening pacing the floor and stewing over things in his own mind.
Othori's invitation to hang out had been totally unexpected, but not unwelcome, distraction from everything else. He started to reach for his iPod, figuring that the other teen's room would probably be different enough from his to be interesting -- and he had seen enough of his own four walls to last him for a few months, at the very least -- but paused and snatched the stupid metronome instead.
"If he didn't make the effort," Blah blah blah. He rolled his eyes at the brief snippet of conversation between him and his sensai, then headed out of the room. The bedroom door slammed behind him.
A handful of seconds later, he stood outside a nondescript door, almost identical to the doors on either side of it. Except for the black tape that wrapped the handle. "Yo! Tori!" Knocking loudly, he stepped back and opened the cover to the metronome as he waited. "Hrhm, let's see. Largo. No. Way too slow. Adagio, better, but still no." He pulled the crossbar down the metal pendulum, resting it just at 100 beats. Andante, he might be able to handle.
Ohtori had been at his computer, typing away furiously on his research essay on the various applications for his abundance of electrical energy and had paused to check his mail and soon found himself inviting Kamio over. That was probably a bad idea. He’d friend the DVD player and was still replacing light bulbs around the small rooms he called ‘home’. How was he to entertain the other boy? And what if his room mate arrived then?
So much pressure! Wincing as one of the freshly changed bulbs across the room burst, he muttered under his breath and went to change it. He had time, Kamio wouldn’t get there that-
There was a knocking at the door. Maybe Kamio could get there that fast. Moving quickly, thought probably not as quickly as the other would like, he reached for the door thinking about how he’d overheard whispers about the red-head being the bomber. If that is the case, he’d just have to be extra nice, there was no way Kamio would do that, right?
Opening his door finally and laughing at his black tape cover, he ushered the shorter boy inside. “Hi, glad you could make it. Feeling better?”
Kamio fiddled idly with the metronome cover, though the piece of black plastic was not really that interesting. He'd already shifted again, leaning on the wall next to the door and waiting for it to open. Dark blue eyes glanced up as the door swung ajar, studying the taller teen that had opened it. "Hey," he replied, then took a slow breath. "No problem, and yeah, I'm fine."
Or he would be. The explosion the other night had knocked him off his desk chair, where'd he'd been comfortably sitting and downloading music. He had the bruise on his hip to prove it, along with another one on his leg where some books had fallen from his desk.
He just didn't feel the need to prove anything. It wasn't his fault that he was fast enough to have gotten down to the lower level first, nor that his sense of self-preservation had had him outside the dormoritory instead of dealing with the chaos inside.
Standing up, he scratched the side of his face with the rounded tip of the plastic cover. "What about you? Any major damage?"
Grinning as the boy came in, he offered him a seat and went to fetch something to drink. “I’m glad you are alright, I was up worried most of the night when Hanamura-sensei sent the message out that there were injuries during the explosion.” Handing him a cool can of juice from his little mini-fridge, he turned and sat on one of the cushions on the floor, legs crossed up in front of himself, and lanky arms wrapped tightly around his legs.
Cocking his head and finally sprawling out more comfortably, he opened his own drink and took a short swallow, letting it cool his throat.
Thinking about the explosion, he laughed slightly. “Promise not to tell anyone, but it did mess up my room a little. But I can do more damage without trying, so I am not too upset about it. I am just curious about my new room mate.”
After a few moments of thought, brown eyes returned to the red head and he smiled. “So what did you want to do. Sorry, I am not the most dreadfully interesting person on the school grounds.”
Kamio raised an eyebrow, eyes darting quickly around the room. This was messed up? Right, he thought, smirking as he popped the can of juice open and took a swallow. "This is nothing. You can't even see the floor in my room," he smirked. Spinning around, he took a setting that was pretty much like his own, but clean. "And the roommate thing. Yeah," he frowned. "Not looking forward to what's his name moving in?" He'd only bothered to skim the email. The words hosting and roommate had been yet another set of irritations to add to a quickly growing list.
"That should be a real treat," he grumbled.
He sat himself down on the floor, leaning against the side of the bed, and stretched his legs out. The juice can was set aside as he turned his attention to the metronome. "Sorry 'bout this," he sighed as he started the bar swinging back and forth, then placed it on the floor next to him. He shut his eyes, listening to the steady click-click-click and timing his breaths to it. It was an exercise that he hated, truthfully, no matter that it somewhat worked. "Gets annoying after awhile, but it's supposed to be better than me racing all over a room."
Frowning deeper, the redhead rested his chin in his hand and shrugged. "No idea, really. This place is boring and it's not like we can go out."
Frowning as he looked around, spotting more broken glass in the corner and reminding himself to sweep that up later. “It is a bit messy, just a different kind.” Alright, true none of that glass was from the explosion but from his own stupid mistakes with his exercises, but no need to bring that up.
”It might not be so bad. I talked to him briefly on the journals, he seems nice. But sad.” Curling up again, he sighed. It seemed all mutants were condemned to be sad for now. Eventually everything would be okay, right?
Ohtori watched the bar curiously, eyes following the beat. He’d seen those before, there was one on his piano at home. “It’s alright.” Honestly the constancy was somewhat soothing, and made him want to play along with it. His fingers moved gracefully along his leg, tapping a rhythm with it, a song coming to mind almost instantly. “You can race around if it makes you feel better, but you’d have to watch your step. Glass shards…”
Kamio shrugged. "Stepped on 'em before. They don't hurt that bad," he admitted. He let himself slouch down, hands resting on his knees and fingers twitching to the steady beat. The near-silence was strange, just voices -- his own and Ohtori's -- filling his ears. He could honestly say he didn't care for it, nor did he really know what to do with it.
Kamio hated silence.
"The roommate thing is lame," he ground out, then began methodically listing the reasons. "Someone else in my space, looking over my shoulder, watching everything that I do. Great. Probably will want the music turned down or off completely at night, and it's not going to help that I'm up most of the night, every night. Not to mention there's the whole power thing." He paused long enough for a breath. "I don't even know what the guy does and it's not like we all don't have some sort of 'special' need that has to be catered too."
Sighing deeply, he ran a hand through his hair and pushed it out of his eyes. "But, yeah. Whatever." The redhead looked away, still frowning. "It's probably not going to matter much anyway."
Kamio seemed edgy, Ohtori frowned and thought of how to make his guest more comfortable. “Still, it isn’t pleasant.” He lifted his left hand to show off his bandaged fingertips, he wished bulbs would quit exploding in his hands when he tried to change them. Hmmm…Jumping up, he went over to his small computer and turned on a random playlist so at least there would be something to lull what he felt were far too many silences.
“The roommate thing might not be too bad; you might have a lot in common with the person. Yeah. But if he doesn’t work out for you, maybe we can trade and you can stay here. If you want.” He laughed. “Special needs? I just need to warn him to watch his step and not take the tape off of the door. I would like to be able to let people in without electrocuting them.”
Wait? Why wouldn’t…? “Oi, why wouldn’t it matter? Convinced they’ll be quiet?”
Kamio nodded at the bandaged hand. He could sympathize, to a degree; he certainly had enough bruises from misjudging speed and distance, from running into or stumbling over various things. Not to mention that it was flat out humiliating to do so most of the time. The redhead shifted, fingers still moving as he listened to music that the other boy had put on. Soft, lulling, almost soothing rhythm, which he could focus on a lot easier than the ticking of the metronome. Even he found the unvaried sound annoying after a few minutes.
"In common?" he repeated, stifling a small, wry laugh. "With me?" The smirk on his face was almost bitter as he mulled over the possibilities of someone on the Ryuhana campus having something in common with him. "I don't think that they could handle more than one person with my interests, Tori."
Moving again, he drew his legs up and wrapped his arms around his knees. "And no, we won't need to trade rooms or anything. It'll be fine, really." The redhead bit down on his lower lip, casting a small, wary gaze at the other boy. His mouth had moved before his brain, as seemed to be common for him, because he really hadn't meant to give away that small bit of information. Damn.
"It just won't," he replied, glancing down to study his quivering fingers. "I " He hesitated, lips curling down further.
"Don't say anything to anyone but I'm not sure I'll be here much longer."
“Are your interests really all that bad, Kamio?” He leaned forward studying him intently. What could he possibly do that would be so bad, in his own opinion?
Kamio seemed distracted. Ohtori hated not knowing what to do or say to help another person out. Wait? Did he say…
”Why would you leave? It’s really safer here than it is out there!” He swallowed and leaned a little closer, “I won’t say anything to anyone…but are you sure that’s a good idea? I mean, it’s not so bad here. The lockdown is a bother, but it is for our protection.”
Kamio sighed and glanced up at the other boy through the fall of his bangs. "It depends on your defination of bad." He smirked and tilted his head to one side, crimson strands shifting to cover more of his face. "I survive. I keep myself amused. That's all that matter's as far as I'm concerned."
The mention of the lockdown brought an aggravated glower to his eyes. "Safe? You call this safe, Tori? The lower level just got taken out by a bomb. Not a very good one," he admitted. "Ya know, given how much of the building is still standing. Last time I checked, I've never had someplace I was sleeping bombed. And I've slept in some pretty nasty places."
Straightening his back, he uncurled his legs and stood up in one quick movement, stepping to one side and away from the other boy who had been pressing into his space. "Living here is like being in a cage," he complained. "And that was before they increased the damn security! You need freaking permission to set foot outside the gates!"
Hands ran through his hair, and he tried to focus on his breathing. "This is total bullshit, Tori. All the training, the philosophy that they keep preaching all of it. It's not going to work."
“I-well…” He was right, the school was bombed, he’d never been anywhere near a bombing before. And then one went of a level below his room. Curling defensively at the idea, he frowned. Maybe he should go home? He could go back into hiding…”I’m-sorry that you’ve had to deal with that.”
He hadn’t expected the other boy to jump up suddenly; he had been to close perhaps? Biting his lower lip, he nodded. “It does sort of seem prison-like. But I think it’s for our own protection. Some of us are dangerous…some people out there are too.” Even if he did just want to go see his parents, now he could do that. Secretly he wondered if they were still writing him and he was just not getting the letters. No, the school wouldn’t do that.
“Uhm…well, they do think we can…but it won’t be easy and it will take a lot of work. Please don’t give up on something good, it’s all about keeping hope alive!” He looked up, brown eyes shining. Perhaps he bought into the pretty picture a little too much for his own good, but he needed something to believe in.
"As I said, I've been through some nasty shit," Kamio replied, blowing the incident off. Scrubbing his hair with his fingers, he leaned his head back.
"Our own protection? You really believe that?" He snorted derisively. "Tori, the only time people claim anything they're doing is for your own protection, they're really doing it for themselves. So what if some of 'us' are dangerous. They are too. Hell," he motioned absently towards the window as he started to pace the floor. "Some of them are completely fucking nuts. Yet they're allowed to walk the streets and we're not."
"It's not about hope, Tori," he finally sighed. "I haven't bothered with that for years." Chewing on the inside of his cheek, he shrugged and paused, turning to face the other boy. "It's about someone feeding me a pile of crap and expecting me to swallow it like a good little boy. Besides," he murmured, considering his own past experiences, "what makes you think humans are worth the effort, huh?"
“I want to believe something. I can’t believe that there is nothing and we’ll have to hide in shame forever. There’s no point in living if that’s the case!” Flopping back against the bed and fisting the bottom of his pant legs he frowned sadly. “What benefits could ‘they’ have by keeping us here? I mean…” he didn’t know what he meant. “I know for a fact I am better kept away from people! You might not be, but I know some of us don’t want to live with the responsibility of hurting people!”
He grabbed his pillow trying to resist a slightly violent impulse from escaping. The shy boy could actually be rather explosive at times, and was finding it difficult to stay calm. This subject was all hitting far too close to home. “Just because of a few bad experiences, you are going to run away? It’s not about being a good kid anymore, this is about surviving.” Gripping the pillow tighter; he sighed, calming himself. Frying the guy was a horrible thing, and he would not do anything to risk an accident.
“I was always taught to never give up on anyone. Human or…whatever you want to call us. We aren’t all that different at all. No one is.” Forcing a slight smile to his face, he released the pillow. “Besides, even if you give up on them, I am not giving up on you.”
Kamio sighed and shook his head, sweeping his bangs away from his face -- though they fell right back in front of his left eye the moment his fingers darted away. "We're what, Tori? Can't you even say it. We're freaks," he hissed. "Mutants. It gets easier to say once you stop trying to think of yourself in their terms. If you stop being so damn afraid of yourself. But whatever." The redhead shrugged again.
"And this is still hiding. You're going to be hiding until they 'understand.' Given how well they are at understanding each other -- members of their own damn species -- well, expect to be doing it for awhile. Because, like it or not, we are different from them."
He moved towards the bed, reaching down and snatching up the still-ticking metronome from the floor. "Personally, I'm all about survival and I'm sick of hiding. I'm what I am. I'm tired of being fucking ashamed of it." He turned away, movements never stilling for an instant as he headed towards the door.
"You want to survive, Tori. You're going to have to fight, because they aren't going to accept us peacefully."
”We are not freaks…” He mumbled back nervously, what if he really upset Kamio? “And I am not…afraid of myself.” Just what I am capable of doing.
He watched unable to argue as the other boy snatched his belongings and left suddenly. The door slamming loudly behind him as he left. “I…don’t fight.”
He flopped on the bed and dropped his head to his arms. Today was by far the worst day ever. Kamio was upset, and Fuji had talked him into something, and he still didn’t even know what. Tugging on the end of the mattress he glared at the light bulb remaining in his room. That single bit of light was really getting on his nerves. A moment of concentration, and it burst in a bright flash leaving him to the darkness.
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