tenipuri_xp | rp log: Kippei and Shinji (Reply)

Date: Oct 5th - backdated yo! was really busy and forgot to post this, it's about a month old
Rating: R, at least
Summary: Shinji is miserable because he messed up, and Kippei makes him feel better.

Shinji felt miserable. He tried to ignore it, tried to forget about it, but every time he tried to think about anything at all it all seemed to come back to that one thing. Even when he dreamt, even when it wasn't even his own dreams! It all came back to that. People had to be wondering what was going on...he wasn't even trying not to show them what he was thinking. He didn't suppose others thought it was normal to stop halfway through making breakfast and wonder what had posessed them to tie Tachibana Kippei to the bed, even if he had looked damn good. He hadn't looked damn good when Shinji got back though. He had been bleeding and furious and had wanted him dead, and Shinji still couldn't figure out why he wasn't dead. He sat on the window ledge, curled up with Kii on his feet, staring out the window, at nothing in particular, and basically felt like shit. He wasn't feeling sorry for himself...he was feeling sorry for everything, and unintentionally was making everyone else think that they should be feeling the same way.

Kippei knew something was wrong before he even got near their room, hit with a wave of misery from halfway down the hall, and that could only mean Shinji. He walked faster, hurrying down the hall and bursting into the room with a worried look, wondering if Shinji had somehow hurt himself or something. It didn't seem like pain, though, just... misery. It was hard to think anything this close to Shinji with him replacing every thought with how incredibly sorry everyone should feel. Kippei sighed, a little relieved when he saw Shinji just sitting there and not about to slit his wrists or jump out the window.

"Shinji?" he asked, out loud since he was pretty sure Shinji was broadcasting too loudly to pick up what anyone else might manage to think at the moment. "What's wrong?"

Kippei was back. Shinji wondered where he had gone. Maybe to the medical bay to get his wrists looked at properly...he should do that if he hadn't gone there, but where else might he have gone? To the kitchen to get food maybe, because Shinji was sort of hungry only not really and the thought of food made him feel sick so he didn't really want anything, so maybe Kippei didn't want anything either. So maybe he went to tell Sakaki what Shinji had done. He should; someone needed to dob Shinji in, because Shinji was bad, and nuts because he was thinking to himself in third person, and that was plain weird.

"I'm sorry."

Kippei gave him a slightly exasperated, if still affectionate look. Shinji had been telling him that he was sorry over and over, and Kippei had thought it was pretty much settled that he wasn't mad and it was all okay now, but Shinji kept coming back to it over and over no matter what Kippei said to reassure him. Kippei was getting a little frustrated with himself for having gotten so mad and freaked Shinji out in the first place, and now not being able to fix his mistake. He was so never, ever getting mad at Shinji again no matter what he did.

"I know you're sorry, Shin," he said patiently. "The entire fucking school knows you're sorry by this point. I'm glad you're sorry. I forgive you and I'm not mad and I'm not going to hurt you or punish you even if you want me to, okay? You made a mistake. People do that. I overreacted. It happens. It's not the end of the world, I swear."

"Says you," Shinji mumbled miserably. Kippei kept saying he didn't mind and that it was okay because it had been a mistake, but that didn't make it okay at all. It was a mistake that had hurt Kippei, inside and out, and Shinji had done it. That was never going to be okay; he couldn't take that back. All he could do was make up for it. So he didn't cry or whine and he tried to stop making everyone else miserable and just stared at Kippei because even when he was feeling like shit staring at Kippei made him feel better. Hell, that would make anyone feel better. His hair was a complete mess, hanging in long, messy wildness around his face and down his back and he looked up from under it all with wide, bright blue eyes and whispered, because he almost didn't dare ask.

"Can I still kiss you?"

Kippei stared at him, and if Shinji hadn't asked him this several times already he wouldn't have believed it. Hell, yes, duh. Like he was ever going to NOT want Shinji to kiss him. Instead of answering, he leaned over and kissed Shinji firmly on the mouth, licking briefly at the corner and then settling on the window seat beside him. He sat for a minute studying him with a bemused expression, as if faced with a puzzle he did not know how to solve.

"Shin, you can do any damn thing you want to. I promise, I still want everything from you. I still want you, and that's not going to change ever. I want all of you, and that includes whatever damnfool thing you take it into your head to do that I would rather you didn't. I do not want you to tie me up again, but even if you were not sorry and I knew that you were going to, I would still love you and still want to keep you and still want YOU. Understand?"

Mmm kisses. Kippei kisses. The best and only kind, in Shinji's opinion. He traced a finger along his lip, feeling the odd after tingle while he thought about what Kippei said. No matter what, even if he did it all over again and wasn't sorry at all, then Kippei would still want him? Kippei much really like him a lot...but then, there wasn't anything Kippei could do that would make Shinji love him any less, so that made sense.

"Anything?" But he didn't wait for an answer, because Kippei had already said it, so he crawled forward and pushed Kippei up against the wall of the window seat, leaning in to kiss him properly, slow and hot and pushing his tongue against Kippei's mouth to see if he could get it to open like his own always did for Kippei.

Mmmmm, that was better. Kippei relaxed and made a soft sound of approval, opening his mouth to Shinji's searching tongue and meeting it with his own, inviting him deeper and more and god, yes. So much better. He promptly forgot what the conversation had been about, pulling Shinji closer and stroking his back in lazy contentment as he devoted his full attention to the kiss.

Anything included kissing, well that was a good thing because Shinji really like kissing Kippei and if he had to choose between kissing Kippei and doing anything else he was pretty sure he would choose kissing Kippei. His hands slid up over Kippei's shoulders and he wrapped his arms around Kippei's shoulders, hugging him close as his tongue explored, tentative at first but it was like he already knew how to do this and he almost felt like he knew it. It felt a little like coming home, and that was a damn good feeling. He pulled back completely reluctantly, leaning his forehead against Kippei's and breathing deep.

"You shouldn't let me do stuff you don't like." But then Shinji really shouldn't do things Kippei didn't like. He thought about that for a minute and then smiled, slow and happy, nodding a little to himself. "I'll protect you."

Kippei stared at him, bemused by this conclusion and more than a little dazed from the kissing. Kissing Shinji was like drowning, in the best of ways. Something he could just fall into and never want to come up for air, although it was unfortunately necessary.

"You will, huh?" he asked, not at all sure what to think of that statement. Protect him? From what? Shinji had the weirdest ideas sometimes, but whatever, if he wanted to then Kippei wasn't going to tell him he couldn't. "I guess I'll be safe then, won't I?"

"Mmm I will. You'll be the safest person in the whole world." Nothing would hurt Kippei. Not while Shinji was there. Kippei was perfect and precious and like Superman, and he didn't really need protecting, but Shinji was going to protect him anyway because he was beautiful and just exactly what Shinji loved about life, all in one neat person.

"Do you know that I love you?" He whispered the words, biting his lip a little nervously, not sure what Kippei might say, but Shinji had been thinking about it for days and wanted to say it.

Kippei smiled, a soft, warm smile as he slipped his arms around Shinji's waist and locked them together, holding him there. "Yeah," he answered. "Yeah, I do." But it still meant a lot to hear him say it.

"I'll protect you too," he promised, although that went without saying. That was pretty much his mission in life, was keeping Shinji safe and happy. He hadn't been doing so good at the last part lately, but he was working on it.

Shinji smiled at that, because yeah...Kippei liked protecting his stupid self, for some weird reason, and if he liked doing it then Shinji would let him, and just make sure he didn't do anything stupid to put Kippei in danger. He would protect Kippei, even if it meant protecting himself at the same time. He would do anything if it meant Kippei would always hold onto him like that, warm hands and arms wrapped around him. A pleased little hum escaped Shinji and his eyes slid closed to small slits as he stared at Kippei's collarbone then figured to hell with it and leant in, licking at the skin, drawing his tongue along the natural lines of Kippei's throat.

Kippei made a soft gutteral sound, halfway between a groan and a sigh, and tilted his head to give Shinji a better angle because damn, that felt good. Everything felt good with Shinji and Kippei felt he could hardly be blamed for always wanting more and more of it.

"Mmmm, Shinji," he murmured, his own eyes falling half closed in pleasure as Shinji erased pretty much every thought in his brain without even using his powers.

Kippei was special. No one else in the whole world could do things; could still function, completely, without thinking. But Kippei did, all the time. Shinji smiled happily and licked his way down across Kippei's collarbone, kissed a light trail across his chest, found a nipple and let his tongue toy with it, learning, trying out the things he had read in the book Kippei gave him, fignertips feeling out Kippei's pulse while his ears strained to hear any sound Kippei might make and memorise it.

Holy crap, Shinji was teasing again, and he was kind of doing it on purpose this time. Kippei shivered, his body flash heating involuntarily as Shinji set out to, apparently, drive him absolutely crazy.

"Shinji," he whispered, not quite a protest as his hands slid down to slip under Shinji's shirt, searching for skin. God, don't stop.

He was doing it right. In the end that was all that really mattered. He didn't care if he looked funny or did something weird or anything, as long as Kippei liked it, which he did, and it was pretty fun so no way was he stopping if he didn't have to. He mimiced his actions on the other side, thriving on the way Kippei whispered his name. Kippei had never said he name quite like that before...or if he had the other Shinji had been the one to hear it, lucky bastard. Nipples were really funny...cute and little and dark and they changed and went all pebbly when you played with them. So cool.

Hell yes he was doing it right, and Kippei didn't really have enough brain left to stop him right now, although he probably should at this point because that felt way, way too good. He spread his hands across Shinji's back, enjoying the heat under his palms and the feeling of touching so much skin at once, but he couldn't stand the teasing for too long before he was reaching for Shinji's hair, winding his fingers deep into the inky black strands and dragging Shinji's mouth up for another scorching kiss.

Mmm kisses, and Kippei was loving it, and loving him and finally Shinji felt balanced and like he was getting it right. Finally Kippei was happy and enjoying something and nothing in the world could make Shinji feel better than knowing that. He chuckled throaty delight against Kippei's mouth, murmuring random nothings against those sexy lips.

"Love you, so much, love kissing you, and listening to you, love everything...all of you."

Kippei leaned his head back against the window frame, trying to get his breath back. "Yeah," he murmured back, not really knowing what he was saying, feeling rather less than coherent at the moment. "All of you, love you too, want you so much, god." Shinji was happy and sexy and warm and kissing him and enjoying it and Kippei wanted him so much that he thought, if he actually got what he wanted, it would break him right into pieces because that wanting was the single strongest unifying emotion that he had, pushing fiercely at the bounds of his restraint, and if it was broken he thought he might just fall apart.

When Kippei did actually think about things, at times like this, Shinji really did wonder if maybe Kippei hadn't been dropped on his head as a baby, but that just made Shinji want to cuddle him more. Kippei was amazing, because to everyone else he was some bull-headed whacko, but that was because they never got to hear their name on Kippei's lips when you kissed him just so, or hear his thoughts when he was dazed and hungry and wanton.

You're the sexiest man alive and you're all mine. I don't want to...not yet...but we can do other stuff, right? On your bed?

Kippei groaned, wondering how the hell Shinji thought that was supposed to work. He really did not understand the kind of fire he was playing with here. He wanted to ask why the hell not, not yet, and what more was Shinji waiting for, but that wasn't really fair. Ready was ready and Shinji wasn't, and Kippei had promised himself that he wouldn't push him into it any sooner than he wanted. But damn it all, he sure wasn't making it easy to wait.

Other stuff like what? he asked warily.

Like...anything. Somehow it was easier to talk about it when he didn't actually have to say things out loud. I just don't want you to put...it...there...not yet. I haven't even seen it, not really, and i just...other stuff. There's other stuff right, without doing that? Yeah maybe it was being unfair, but Shinji had gotten to the point where he wanted to know, and learning from a book only showed you so much, and none of that could compare to actually getting his hands on the real thing.

Kippei sighed. Yeah, okay, he answered, because at this point he would take what he could get and his control would just have to be good enough. He stood, picking Shinji up with him and carrying him over to the bed.

"Fair warning," he said briefly as he put Shinji down and climbed up beside him, leaning over him on hands and knees to give him a serious, smoldering look. "You make me crazy. So if you need me to stop doing something, then stop me. Only what you want to do, okay?" In fact it was probably a much better idea if he just let Shinji do the driving here, and let him explore as much as he wanted to.

"Really?" Yes, really. He already knew Kippei's brain did that weird switching off thing whenever they went too far with this, but Shinji wasn't scared of Kippei...or he hadn't been. Even now he wouldn't say he was scared of Kippei's temper, he was just scared that Kippei wouldn't like him when Kippei was in a temper. There was a big difference. Shinji nodded enthusiastically to Kippei's thoughts and immediately grabbed at Kippei's shirt, which was already wrinkled and pushed in funny frumpy directions on Kippei's body, pulling off and tossing it over the side of the bed, hands reaching to once again stroke all that skin. Kippei was bigger than he was; he looked like all the older boys at the school. It annoyed Shinji when he looked in the mirror and realised he didn't look any different to the really little guys. He had even asked about it but the doctor said he was unlikely to grow any more. Ever. Weeeeird. So he was determined to get used to it and make do with drooling all over Kippei.

"My perfect body."

Kippei chuckled, wryly, settling next to Shinji and rolling onto his back to make it easier to remind himself to let Shinji be in charge here. He liked his body well enough, thought that he looked pretty damn good all things considered, but he never really thought about it much. Shinji's body, on the other hand--he thought about that a lot. And in his opinion it wasn't possible to get more perfect than Shinji was, although he was willing to admit there were different kinds of perfect.

"You are gorgeous," he murmured, trailing his eyes over Shinji's body and wishing Shinji had taken his own shirt off too.

Shinji flushed and ducked behind his hair for a moment, then decided to hell with it, he liked that Kippei liked looking at him, so whatever. He liked looking at Kippei too, that was just the way it was, it wasn't something to be embarassed about. He trailed his fingers slowly down Kippei's chest, stroking the aroused nipples, the belly button, the various creases and crevices in the skin, all of it sculpted around hard muscle that made him smile. Then he reached for Kippei's belt and looked up, meeting his gaze questioningly. He could take Kippei's pants off now, right?

Kippei's entire body tensed, and he seriously could not breathe. Shinji was absolutely insane. He bit the inside of his lip until it hurt, and finally nodded, staying absolutely still as Shinji began removing his pants. Sure, they had done this before, but wow. He was going to explode or something, Shinji was taking off his pants and Kippei thought he should probably stop watching but he couldn't look away.

Shinji really hoped Kippei didn't explode or something because that would be messy, not to mention he didn't think Kippei's power was able to put Kippei back together again, cool as it was. His hands were shaking a little as he undid Kippei's belt and tugged down the zipper, peeling open the tight fitting jeans to reveal white undies and a familiar bulge. Shinji had spent a week looking at this body naked, dying to touch and now, finally he could. He took his time getting rid of first the jeans and then the underwear, peeling it off Kippei's body with long sweeping motions of his hands, caressing the skin he pulled it over at the same time, eyes fixed on Kippei's. Then he dared to look down and his hand was already moving, fingertips reaching out to caress, feather light and scared but determined and he was amazed, despite having touched his own, by how smooth it was, and how familiar it felt. He smiled and leant down to kiss it. Hello, hello, Kippei's...thing. He could have smacked himself. Penis, idiot, it's called a penis.

The slow torture Kippei had expected, and had gritted his teeth against it as he watched Shinji ever so slowly remove the last of his clothing, little whispery touches along the way just enough to drive him crazy. He was practically holding his breath when Shinji finally touched him, still the light, maddening fingers that were just not enough, not nearly enough, but still enough to make him shudder and bite down hard on his lip to distract himself, and then Shinji leaned down and kissed him and oh hell. His breath left him in a rush and he groaned a little.

"Shinji..." please stop teasing, he wanted to say, but Shinji wasn't exactly teasing, just exploring. Kippei was certain he was going to go insane before Shinji was done with him.

"Kippei," Shinji whispered huskily in answer, amused by the desperation in both thoughts and intonation, expressed simply through his name. Was that how they used to talk to each other? Shinji liked it...liked it a lot. He had seen something in that book that he wanted to try and maybe it was what Kippei wanted but was so obviously not willing to push for. Kippei always kept his promises, after all...Very carefully, Shinji lifted Kippei's cock, which was growing and hardening in his hand, to expose what was hiding underneath and he bent down to kiss those too, fascinated. With an odd, natural sort of languid grace he lazily slid his tongue from the root of Kippei's cock to the tip, letting his tongue dip in against the top to taste, closing his eyes thoughtfully. Weird taste...very weird, but he liked weird things a lot...He licked again, up the other side, enthralled by the entire procedure. The book had said it was fun but Shinji hadn't really understood until he started.

"Mmm..." I like this.

Bloody hell. Kippei let his head fall back with a deep groan, muscles in his throat working as he swallowed hard, his body strung tight with the effort of not moving as Shinji kept licking, hot wet fire that made all the blood in his body rush straight to his groin. He was suffocating in waves of heat and want and need, something as vital as oxygen just out of reach while Shinji took his time with his little exploratory session. The temptation to reach and grab and thrust and take control was almost overwhelming, his entire body pulsing with arousal that seemed to get more intense with every move Shinji made; he was practically vibrating with the effort of keeping himself in check. Please, god, please.

Kippei's control was barely there, all sorts of things running through his head, but it was still there, so Shinji continued. He wasn't worried. Kippei would never make him do something he didn't want to do. He tried to think of what the book said, but in the end Kippei's own begging was the key. He wanted and needed heat and warmth and more and well...yeah, okay. Very carefully, and so damn slowly, Shinji slid his lips down over the length of him, looking up the length of Kippei's body to see his face and make sure he was doing it right. He was a little scared that maybe his teeth might hurt it, but he kept them nicely hidden and just let skin run against skin before he decided that was enough and sucked and really it wasn't that different to eating ice cream and sucking on the spoon.

Kippei was shaking, leaning back on his elbows with his head back, eyes tightly closed, mouth open as he tried desperately to breathe, loosing a low, rumbling moan in the process. Shinji, Shinji, oh god, Shinji. His thoughts held only slight variations on the major theme, because Shinji, it was all about Shinji and Shinji was sucking his cock--a little tentatively but that was Shinji's mouth, familiar and heaven and jesus, it had been too long, way way too long. Oh god Shinji, I love you and you're so good, please don't stop.

More fun than eating ice cream and sucking on the spoon. Kippei did not moan or think like that when Shinji was eating ice cream! Smirking inwardly, Shinji sucked harder and let more slide into his mouth, then wondered what it would feel like if he went up and down, like with lollipops...it seemed to work, so he tried it anyway. It was fun and interesting and most importantly, Kippei was enjoying it and didn't want him to stop. He was getting a sore neck though, so he lay down against Kippei's hip, curling up in his lap, letting his mouth lick and lap and suck and savour and god, there was so much you could do with just one thing, it was almost funny. He wondered what would happen next. Would that sticky stuff come out? What did Kippei's taste like? Was it like Shinji's? Did everyone's taste the same or were they all different? Oh wait...he wasnt supposed to be letting other people hear thoughts like that. Oops.

Kippei was too far gone to really register that anyone was thinking, much less about what. He was completely and totally focused on holding himself still as Shinji sucked more enthusiastically, finding a rhythm that was oh, yeah, very good. Fuck fuck fuck, he didn't know if he was going to come or going to die first, Shinji was going to kill him.

"Shinji..." he groaned in utter desperation, fists clenched around the sheets as he wound tighter and tighter with the impossible strain of not thrusting up into the perfect heat of Shinji's mouth. He was so close, so very close and then Shinji did something with his curious inquisitive little tongue that made him cry out, and he was coming so hard he nearly blacked out.

Oh geez! Shinji so had not expected it to happen that fast, or that suddenly, or that...much. He was so startled he swallowed without even thinking, but he couldn't even do that fast enough and he gasped for breath, cum dribbling over his lips as he stared at the blissed out look on Kippei's face, a surge of pride running through him. Kippei was...relaxed, and sated and happy as hell and completely oblivious to the world and it was all because of something Shinji had done. That definately made up for his mistake, hell yes it did. He rubbed histhumb over his lip, collecting the last of it and licking it off, nuzzling against Kippei's belly, amused but delighted because he had done something that made Kippei feel that good.

Was it okay? Yeah, it was okay.

It took Kippei a few minutes to become aware of anything other than his blissed out system, but once he did, he murmured appreciatively and stroked Shinji's hair with a heavy hand, completely failing at stringing even two thoughts together, much less any actual words. Also, he couldn't fucking move, collapsed on his back with Shinji on top of him and he could stay right here forever and ever, amen.

Yeah, it was good. Shinji was ridiculously proud of himself and he carefully untangled himself from around Kippei's thigh and got the blankets, pulling them up to Kippei's chest and collapsing across all that yummy skin, sandwiched between Kippei and the blankets. He felt a familiar little weight drop onto the bed nearby and lifted up a corner of the blankets long enough for Kii to gingerly crawl inside with him, then he was snuggling in against Kippei's side and kissing his shoulder and deciding for the both of them that door was so staying locked the rest of the day and nobody was disturbing them, and later he was so exploring some more.